50k is easy. Run across the field behind my house to the hospital parking lot and dent the bodywork on like two Rivians.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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askchapo
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Or most any fiberglass/plastic trim panels on a Mercedes, BMW, or higher-end Audi. Hell, a wooden oar could make short work of the body panels on a Corvette.
If I find the executives' cars I could do 100k in a single swing ez
My current position is nearby a museum so I think I got this
Before heading to the museum, call up all the peoples who have had artifacts from their history stolen, so once you start smashing display cases, they can take everything back to the places they belong.
Better idea: call the wooden paddle the "Judgement of Solomon" and start compromising 
you running to the pottery section?
It's a technology museum so I'm going straight for the exposed tubing in their rocket graveyard
man what a sound that'd make
kerbalexplosion.mp3
I would simply pull a Musashi and carve my oar in to a bokken, then use it to defeat the police when they arrive.
Just start smashing windshields, that's like 50 windshields
That's my plan, but I'm in a dense urban environment where it's theoretically possible
The headlight housings cost a lot more than the windshields. On newer cars with LED or projectors they can be in the thousands.
Has the local population been evacuated?
Medical bills are not included in the property damage total in this scenario
Lmao, I was more concerned about innocent bystanders, but good to know.
throw it into a running jet engine
I guess it ultimately depends on what's nearby
If I'm in some derelict, abandoned factory building, I'd be proud of myself if I managed $100 in damage
In an art museum, I might be able to make that in a few well placed swings
how much is the oar worth?
before your crime spree? negligible.
after? depends on what you accomplish with it
Aren't those police patrol cars like $100,000 a pop?
Swing once and pass out from exertion
I'm sitting in my office currently. there are like 200 lcd monitors in my eyeline right now.
however, the crowd of people around me might do something if i just start swinging given the wtf reaction would be high.
so i'm walking straight over to the lifts and going to the carpark. would take be 1-2 mins to get down there.
second option that just came into my head: i'm sure someone in my immediate vicinity smokes, so i could get a lighter and light the oar on fire. this would trigger the smoke alarms and sprinklers, the water would then presumably destroy nearly all of the hundreds of monitors, dell docks, laptops and the proper IT dev pcs/internal environment servers on our floor. not as cathartic, but an efficient win i guess
i think i could just about get to my local hospital's helipad and maybe take a few swings at the rotors of the air ambulance in that time?
that'd be expensive surely
and also very fucked up to do lol
Air ambulance is the only good helicopter
A lot, im p strong
I think a few of the nearby auto shops are specialty places
Can I use the wooden oar as firewood to start a fire directly underneath the propane canister cage outside of a Home Depot with a crowded parking lot? Failing that, same question, but gas station full of either luxury cars or oversized pedestrian-killer pickup trucks.
Yeah, that's where I was leaning. Plenty of places have natural gas. You can probably take out a whole building. Then there's infrastructure equipment like fiber optic distribution hubs and power transformers.
we wield so much more power than we perceive
Uphold BG3 Barrelmancer thought.
Seems pretty easy, just start smashing every window I see.
I'm currently boondocking in a national park so... I could break the oar, but I probably need it to kayak home.
Am I allowed to wrap the oar in a kerosene-soaked rag, light it up, and throw it at a stand of running gas pumps?
totally allowed yeah. caveat being that additional damage after the 10 minute mark doesn't count, i.e. from an ongoing fire, but explosions are definitely free game.
I'd try to fuck up an auto repair shop, and then give a few minutes to the corner store by me (the owner is a homie tho so I'd feel terrible)
A window is a few hundos each. Find the shiniest office buildings and go hog wild.
If you can get into a store that sells high end glass or ceramic kitchenware that would only take a few minutes
Put me in a Faberge egg warehouse and start the counter
Medical specialist offices are about six minutes away. I’m going straight for the jackpot
Attack the plumbing. Go wet bandit style.
are we pricing the damage based off of unscrupulous quotes from local contractors? yes I say
Can I take a bus to Kahala before my ten minutes start? I wouldn't look out of place with an oar either so I could do it.