Unironically, @[email protected] your best bet for immigration is to marry a Canadian citizen. Even then it's a very long, drawn-out process (my family has been through it) but with the recent caps on immigration that's probably your best bet.
Sometimes I've thought ot turning my unmarried-and-bi-and-Canadian situation into a comedy video on youtube or somewhere. "Now accepting applications from desperate Americans, line forms on the left". But nowadays that feels exploitative and not very funny.
Be a real shame if they found it hard to get any sleep due to extremely loud music nearby all night, every night.