DirtyPair

dont get angry at me im just a little guy

WASHINGTON, May 21 (Hexbear) - President Joel Biden took to the podium today to announce a new groundbreaking safety initiative to curb the amount of accidents on American Roads.

"Incidents involving dangerous two-wheeled vehicles amount for millions of accidents on America's roads, but thanks to my new Safer Smarter America Bill which will eliminate these dangerous vehicles from our Beautiful Roads."

Because dangerous two-wheeled vehicles amount for 18.9% of all accidents on American Roads, American Drivers can expect to save up to a dozen American Dollars on their chosen Insurance Plan.

A Donald Trump presidency might not spell the end of the non-existent American democracy, but it could spell doom for shitposting forum Hexbear.net.

Ever since Joel Biden took office as President of the United States of America, users of the notorious Right-Wing Communist forum "Hexbear" have rejoiced. Observed levels of Liberalism have increased one-hundred fold, leading to tons of tasty slop for the authoritarian piggies who browse the controversial subreddit. However, a Donald Trump Presidency could bring the good times to an end.

Studies have shown that under the rule of a Republican leader, American Liberals tend to oppose policies held by former Democratic Leaders, such as brutal border control, private health care scams, and racist police states. If American Liberals reverse course on their current support for President Joel Biden's Liberal policies under a potential Donald Trump presidency it could result in a united left-wing that could seriously damage the number of comments in the Hexbear News Megathread.

Under a Donalde Trumpe Presidency, American Liberals may reduce the number of blood-thirsty tweets they make on Elon Musk's Twitter (formerly X) platform. These posts are the life-blood of Hexbear's "Dunk Tank" forum, a gathering spot for users of the notorious platform who want to receive collective damage.

It's also expected that the number of astroturfed posts made by the Democratic Party that oppose left-wing positions will decrease, making the beloved neo-nazi website a more welcoming space for Hexbear's dying user-base. This could create a suction effect, draining the Far-Left Extremist site of its very few users, making it more difficult to spread violent Communist ideology.

Therefore, I believe it is in every Hexbear users best interest to "Rock The Vote" on election day and cast their ballot for President Joel Biden, insuring American Liberals remain as foul as ever in their continued support for President Joel Biden's ongoing genocide. Do it for the Slop.

"After many sessions of intense therapy I have come to understand that, through my words and deeds, I have caused harm to many people because of traits outside of their control, such as their race, their gender identity, or their financial circumstances." Mr. Musk said during an exclusive interview with Hexbear.

"I understand now that what I have done and said is wrong on so, so many levels. I truly don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself, and I don't blame you if you can't forgive me.

"Please support the Democratic Party this election season to bring sanity back to America."

Despite a wild fan base and millions of pre-orders, FromSoftware President Hidetaka Miyazaki has put the much anticipated expansion pack for Game of the Year winner "Elden Ring" on "Indefinite" hiatus as he begins working on what he calls a "passion project" - a videogame based on popular TV Anime "GochiUsa BLOOM".

"Honestly, Shadow of the Erd Tree wasn't shaping up the way I would have liked" Miyazaki said to Hexbear in an exclusive interview. "For starters, it lacked the deep emotional connection between characters you see in GochiUsa, and there simply wasn't any room for character growth the way we see with Chino-chan, who slowly opens up and accepts Cocoa-chan as her Onee-chan.

"Our new game, Rabbit Souls, will allow us to explore deeper personal connections than any of our previous games and finally deliver a fun and exciting gameplay experience never before seen from From Software."

Regardless of your thoughts on the delay, or on popular TV Anime GochiUsa BLOOM, one must feel excited for this new entry from legendary game studio From Software. Look forward to Rabbit Souls in 2027, and then finally Shadows of the Erd Tree in 2028.

WASHINGTON May 09 (Hexbear) - President Joel Biden and Former President Donald J. Trump joined together to announce the merger of their respective political parties. The new party is called "The American Party" and marks the beginning of what President Brandon described as "Single Party Democracy", a new system that will unite Patriots all across America.

How are you going to make an unpopular bad post, comrade? Some of us are really out here toiling in the badposting mines. You're just a champagne bad poster. My bad posts are not your costume.