this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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So let's say I had aqcuired a young tortoise, and wanted it to eventually be fast. Could I strap a weight on a rope to its shell and gradually increase the weight a few grams every week or month until I have the fastest tortoise in the world?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 58 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

The turtle would get stronger, but strength wouldn't necessarily have to translate to speed. It might go the same speed, just more easily ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

[โ€“] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Gotta tune your turtle for more horsepower, not more torque.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Exactly, instead of making it pull weights, make it run after a salad or something and gradually increase speed/distance.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

If you have more torque and the same rpm, you get more horsepower as result.

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Maybe a strawberry on a fishing pole strapped in front of it too then?

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Do non-human animals get more physically fit from working out?

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Not sure about reptiles but mammals for sure.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

As long as they have the food/nutrition for it, sure - it's all just muscles ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

[โ€“] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago (4 children)

People use fingerboards to give their turtles the Zoomies.

[โ€“] flicker 11 points 5 months ago

I needed this after reading real news. Thank you.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

This gives me ideas...

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I heard someone call this "turtle overclocking" lol

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's like he's swimming!

[โ€“] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Tortoises are fast. Though most of the time they just have no reason to and conserve energy because they are cold blooded.

Also, those fuckers can climb! You got no idea how many times we had to pick up one of my mothers tortoises from neighbours because they found another way to sneak out of the enclosure we build outside.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sure you're not thinking of turtles? I've seen them haul ass, but never a tortoise.

If you're mother has them, I'm sure you said what you meant, but still, never seen one scoot booty.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Yes, turtles are probably faster (especially in water), but I'm talking about Hermanns's tortoise.

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Tortoises go faster the hotter they are; comes from having a cold blooded metabolism. So to make it faster, acclimate it to hotter environments as well as putting it on a muscle building regime.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

It would be stronger but I doubt that would correlate much with speed or endurance. I can squat almost double my bodyweight but my cooper test score is around 2500. A runner with way less leg strenght could easily outperform me.

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You know, there's some good eatin on one of them things.

But, probably not.

Reptiles don't pile on mass the way mammals do. The greatest limitation to tortoise speed isn't muscle anyway. It's bone structure and metabolism.

Strapping weight ain't gonna get mr tarpin swole, he just gonna be tired.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

You know, there's some good eatin on one of them things.

GNU Terry Pratchett

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Get it a Terrapin Stationary Bicycle for endurance training.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Just a healthy diet of jerry and the boys will do...turtle will be trucking right along

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Asking the real questions

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

just get you a snapping turtle. they haul ass!