askchapo

I studied CS so I used to know quite a few. The ones I hung out with though were only incels in the literal sense. They couldn't get any because they were way too shy to flirt/ask women out, too socially awkward, put almost 0 effort into their looks, etc. but they were very nice people and respected women

I actually know quite a few incels (in the more common sense) now in my workplace/mutual friends (all tech bros, ofc) but I don't talk to them + they actually all have GFs/wives because they're rich/their partners are just as offputting as them

i don't want to self-harm with the apps, and i'm unemployed. haven't talked to anyone in years, is that voluntary or involuntary?

Depending on how you define it, me. I've never felt good enough to be in a relationship and I've deeply internalized the idea of 'don't bother them if they wanted to talk to you they would'

I know a femcel trans woman that I'm slowly coaxing out of deeply unserious ideology over time

I've had boys in my class go this way before. I hate to sound like I'm bragging, but it's not hard to push it out of them if they're under 19 and you have enough time with them. The boys who grow into super reactionaries never take a class with me.

I rarely play multiplayer games so I don't know how I would meet them

I know one that went from having a relatively normal love life to incel because he became a homophobic Catholic in the middle of the George Pell scandal.

I didn't really know him personally, but while I was doing a social worker program in college this guy started going on an incel rant in class.

The class was about internalized oppression and we were in the unit on internalized misogyny, and he just started going off about how women don't actually want nice guys and how they want the hot rich guys who are abusive.

He had a lot of other really problematic views, my friends and I still wonder why he joined the program to begin with.

Yeah a few and they’re very annoying to be around

Is the 80/20 thing really false? I don't know anything personally, but anecdotally it seems true from talking to men who use the apps to date. Some guys get as many dates as they want, and others basically get none.

I don't think it's about being 6ft or having chadface or whatever, it's about mastering the stupid gameification of romance(and paying for premium subscriptions).

I'm happy to be wrong about this, though.

there's one i used to talk to. idk, guess i figured i might be able to help him out of it, but the ideology had seeped into his every cell; it was impossible to have a reasonable conversation with him at all. it was all so horribly naked, too, like he really wanted to be the absolute most vile of the bunch.

i think about him, sometimes.

in retrospect, the fact that i tried to talk to him prolly has more than a little to do with where i am today.

Knew a guy who had a dry spell and blamed it on college marxism. He went on like 7 back to back failed dates and didnt reflect on his shitty personality.

maybe i'm just incredibly unlucky but it's starting to seem like almost every guy is on some MRA shit to some degree

it's so fucking exhausting