"This is gender affirming care!" I tell myself right before hitting the "purchase" button to buy a battle axe off the internet

I’m coming out to y’all today as trans femboy. Might still change as I’m still working on my identity development but that’s what feels right atm

Oh look it's that time.

Every fucking time there's an article on trans athletes, cis people just have to display their complete fucking ignorance and will either spread misinformation or act "concerned" (even on this very website) when plenty of research has been done on the topic to conclude that it's a complete fucking non-issue. This discussion should've been moot years ago, but apparently it isn't. It's the one transphobic culture war battle that even so called "allies" keep falling for. Fucking tiresome.

My last (maybe) laser appointment is this Wednesday! Excitement! 😁

I think I'll also get a veggie sub with avocado that day instead of making lunch.

had weed for the first time

WHO IN GODS NAME WOULD BAN SUCH A THING

you can lead a girl to estrogen but you can't make her transition

Just tried to take a photo of myself but got really upset because I hate the way I look

I hate shaving. this is not a request for help/advice, I've tried many different types of razor and many different techniques, it's just a complaint about how bad shaving is.

it's like, facial hair giving you dysphoria? well, you're gonna have to shave it off or pay out the ass for laser or electrolysis! also shaving's gonna leave a bit of stubble, as a treat, so you'll always feel a little man-coded.

I'm currently in month 2 of using a braun IPL 1-2x/week on my torso and face, with minimal thinning to my facial hair but my chest hair significantly thinned and softened. I'm hoping the facial hair is just gonna take a bit longer. I also need to start on my lower half and maybe my arms but shaving down there is such a pain when you're 6'6"/2m tall and not terribly flexible...

my body is too manly for me to ignore the hair but I'm too much of a dyke to want to deal with the hair, why must beauty be pain and take hours out of my life every goddamn week.

Inside me, there are two wolves..

The first says, "become the antagonistic dyke that you are. Cut your hair shortish and weirdlike, and dye it blue and pink or something'. The other wolf is my ten years' progress of growing my hair out. It's long enough to go just past my ass now and it's incredible, but the urge to do something funny with it arises when it causes sensory issues, or gets caught under my wife or something.

Really I wanna be able to swap on the fly...

Been coming out to my friend group slowly.

Came out to the one friend that I can depend on being sensitive to queer issues first, turns out he's also NB/trans. Tho it seems like I might have been the only one who didn't already know?

Then I came out to my oldest friend and he was way more sensitive to it than I ever imagined, which makes me think that I'm underestimating my friends on this.

After the second friend I've started to feel way more comfortable talking about trans things openly; both to these two friends and to my girlfriend.

On another note, I ended up asking my endo to swap me to estradiol injections. BIG MISTAKE- my estradiol pills cost $30 for 200... 5ml of estradiol cost me 164 usd because IT WASN'T COVERED BY INSURANCE AHHHHH.

The pills would last me about 2 months at 3 pills/day, the injections are gonna last me 6 months at 1 injection every two weeks so it's not terrible but now I have to pray I don't have any bills over $70 in the next 4 days until I get paid.

Fuck.

Also found out one of my cishet friends that had been dating around, has specifically been looking on grindr for trans girls. I really don't know how to feel about this. From another friend, he apparently self-id'd as a chaser. Although this friend is autistic so I'm not entirely sure if he is aware of the full weight of what that means or not.

I kinda massively slowed down on taking selfies? Idk I've been super stressed over the last 2 weeks honestly. Also my dysphoria is significantly lower and I'm kinda starting to question if I'm even trans? That being said I basically dress fem as much as possible and am on estrogen and my T is pretty suppressed... all things that would reduce my dysphoria so maybe it's working?

It's fucking with my head. Before I started questioning my gender, I found all the progressive spaces that were for queer liberation.

Now that I've started to question gender, I've been stumbling across all sorts of queerphobic "communist" spaces: from irl parties, to telegram, discord, and "friends." It really pisses me off, and I get interrogated about "being a liberal."

on a side note: does anybody have any info on how to figure out if your trans or an egg or cis or anything?

I'm so happy I could scream! Yesterday was my 2 month anniversary for HRT and the first time I took progress pictures to compare with the ones I took the day I started. I know I shouldn't put too much stock into one series of pictures, but it's insane how different I look.

Obviously the changes are due to a lot of different stuff, like getting a more femme hairstyle, better skincare, healthier lifestyle, more skill at make-up and generally taking better care of myself, but it's unbelievably encouraging.

I hated taking those pictures I took 2 months ago because I couldn't shake the feeling I just looked like a guy, but I still did it because I knew I'd want them for later, and I'm so glad I did. These new ones I wanted to immediately send to everyone I knew and post everywhere because I'm so happy with how I look in them. I've been so careful to keep my expectations in check and not expect to see major changes in a really long time, so I'm just over the moon right now!

Therapy went really well today. We talked about a bunch of good stuff. But they suggested to me that I come to our next meeting presenting fem.

takes gigantic bong rip damn. my favorite masculine characters and ideals were always something that i subconciously understood as unreasonable, cartoonish, and over the top. things that i would never earnestly compare myself to nor should i. this absurd comparison allowed me to unhappily present AMAB because the ability to mock a caricature of masculinity helped deflect from the one of my own i had forced myself to take up

I just got my hair cut, and what I've concluded is short hair feel good, long (er) hair look good. Why does it have to be this way 😔

My ex-wife is going to be giving me a bunch of her old clothes. So that's kinda exciting. I'm a bit taller than her, but otherwise we are of a similar size. Fingers crossed that most of it fits. If not, I'll donate it to the local LGBTQ closet or simply get off my ass and lose some weight.

down with cis

Any recommendations for at-home laser hair removal devices?

I get zapped once every couple of months, would like to do some maintenance in between professional zappings.

back home from visiting my partner for the first time and i miss her so much already

Starting SERMs to prevent breast growth which is typically what makes me quit HRT. Excited on the one hand, but nervous because they are poorly studied and understood. Worried I am going to do it wrong and really fuck myself up.

I'd been putting off any removal of my body hair because I can't really afford any of the good options (basically I have a razor and an electric razor) and like without doing it I could imagine it being better than I knew it would be.

I've finally shaved everything neck down and it is somewhat better than I hoped. I am so much happier with how I look this way, and it feels better. But also, my skin is so pale and my hair so dark I can like still see all my hair follicles sitting there, which is incredibly depressing. I can't make the hair actually disappear. And now, just one day later, I can feel stubble everywhere. The thought of having to do all that shaving multiple times a week is so depressing.

Hopefully HRT will do something here once I've been on it longer

gonna take enough testosterone and estrogen for 20 people to become the ultimate gender and ascend to godhood

Worked up the confidence to call the doctor's office to try and make an appointment for hrt, but the soonest appointments for either of the two doctors are 4 and 6 months out

There, you see it. Sticking out of the crowd. Monster Energy, pink can, Ultra Strawberry Dream flavor.

It's the most trans girl energy drink you can imagine. You need one, now. Two, actually

It's been a long day. The caffeine should be a fitting boost to finish it

[ENCYCLOPEDIA: EASY] SUCCESS- Standing before you on this shelf are scores of energy drinks, none of which will have any effect on your hormone levels whatsoever. Even if the can is especially pink

Don't listen to Poindexter, this is the trans femme drink on the shelf, and it's that way for a good reason

1. Guess I should get one
2. What about the other flavors? Is guava not trans girl enough for me?
3. Discard thought

Feeling wistful in a gendery way while watching wlw tiktoks

Conversation with the goodreads lady has been stilted and painful which I guess is pretty normal. Why is talking to people so like pulling teeth? Interests too weird I guess.

Anyway I'm about to finish up this Lily Seabrooke novel and then start Unjust Depths, finally.

spent all weekend in recouperation and now that it's monday I'm like damn why doesn't anyone want to hang out

saw them in the mirror just now, i t's a nice feeling, I hope everyone else is feeling great <3