UhhhDunkDunk

Fun fact- one of the single largest thing a person can do to calm their nervous system is to move slowly. Slow, intentional movements communicate to your brain that you are safe it can remain calm. When we move quickly, we are communicating urgency to our brain, which brain takes as- stay alert, something dangerous could be developing. Experimenting with your pace; and breathing patterns may be helpful also. I like the idea that if we want to change our internal state, we have to "seduce" ourselves into it. eg. I cannot go for a run at 10pm get home, jump into bed and command myself to 'Sleep!' and expect that to work. But I can 'set the mood', 'curate a vibe', whatever, I can put on soothing music or nature sounds, light candles, slow my breath, think about gratitudes, etc- all of these things are almost a form a self seduction. Hope something in there is helpful!

someone's gotta be up at night, tho! Lots of theories around generational sleep patterns and teen-elderly sleep schedules leave very little time where someone isn't just normally awake- teens naturally stay up late and prefer to sleep late, old folks naturally wake up early and sleep early.

Fun fact: Barter only seems to occur in human societies when a. markets were previously established b. those markets collapse. Check out David Graber's 'Debt: first 5000 yrs' for more info. Most societies are debt based- as in people just do things for each other but keep basic accounts in there heads. Eg. You paid for dinner out last month, i'll pay this month(doesn't really matter how much was spent, the exactness isn't very important) Or, my grandma makes the coolest knit socks, I'm gonna ask her to make some for me and then shes gonna have me do some yard work when i visit later.

This situation...bigoted bat shit crazy. What a mind boggling, wild way to respond to being helped! I am so sorry you had that experience. And, thank you for stopping and taking time out of your day to help a complete stranger- full on Comrade behavior right there! I just wanna offer the idea to try and forget for one moment about how that experience ended and instead focus on how awesome your behavior was!

fun clip, thanks for sharing!

Really cool post, thanks for sharing!

Seems like there are a lot of takes on here already, so I'll try to just add on. Main Considerations- space(LxWxH, distance from your house); local predators(what kind of protection do they need esp. at night); climate/weather(temps, precipitation); budget(enclosure + feed).

Ducks are happy and cute little monsters, and people generally like them as companions more than chickens. People generally don't like ducks cause they/their habitat can smell. Ducks love water(will touch on more) and they poop a lot, this make for a smelly habitat if not kept clean or kept in the right conditions. They need to have access to drinking water at all times but esp. with meals(important for their digestion and health). Ducks are both individuals and members of a community so they'll need a flock, keeping less than 3 birds seems cruel to me for their social health and always keep extra birds(minimal extra resources to provide for them, better for their collective health and enrichment, expect predation). If raising from hatchling expect a 10-15% mortality rate before adulthood, after adulthood it'll be because something gets into their coop at night and this will happen no matter how hard you work to prevent it. Ducks also need daily access to baths with clean water- a kiddy pool can work fine for this. People generally only get female ducks and chickens, esp. in urban/suburban environments, those birds produce eggs, and are better behaved and generally make less noise) Hope that help, open to slowly responding to questions!

This really bothers me. Part of my job is getting to know people quickly, asking questions, 'evaluating', 'assessing', etc. And, not only are these questions brimming with subjectivity and bias regarding essentially all 'demographic' factors (age, race, sex, income, neurological, cultural, etc) BUT these questions offer me almost NO information about a person whatsoever. So dumb!

Great question and super common experience. A couple things to offer- one of them is human urges general last between 5-15 minutes tops. Eg. quitting smoking and you want a cig, if you can distract yourself for 12 minutes- you'll stop wanting one. This concept is sometimes referred to as 'urge surfing' and is a ACT therapy concept(I mean, its as old as people, but ACT rebranded the wisdom). Also, stopping things is actually a very hard thing to do- but doing something else, not nearly as hard: make a list of 50 things you could do other than porn have it ready, have it somewhere in reach and then try to use it. Remember that scene in indian jones when he wants the gold deity/icon but he knows he has to replace it with a bag of sand the same weight- same idea here, sub it out dont try and just stop.

Conceptually- you have habituated a behavior because it feels good and by having done this repeatedly over years your brain has established a specific electrical firing pattern along connected synapses. What does that mean? It means you've walked a specific way in the woods long enough that a path has formed. It is now easier for thoughts, urges, memories and other products of the minds to move along that path. Which makes perfect sense- good news is, any and every time you walk another route you are establishing an alternate neural pathway which in time eventually overtakes the current one. Here is what is so exciting about this, no effort made at walking this new path is ever 'undone' eg. been not using porn for awhile, feeling proud and accomplished about it- then oopsie, you look at porn- none of the hardwork, none of the alternate neural pathway goes away- this is like a ratchet system and it only moves in your favor- you cannot go backwards even accidentally . So, set backs will happen, lets try and be non-judgmental and just notice a relapse happened- what led to? was their a trigger? is it a trigger that can be avoided or distracted from?

-Also, boredom is your greatest ally right now, seek out boredom, feel it get to know it, also it generally last less than 15 minutes because you'll find something else to do. I would literally challenge you to set a time and then sit and see how long it goes until your suddenly taking out the trash or working on that project youve been meaning to get to for months: Boredom is one of our greatest motivators, utilize it. -Use coping skills, if you dont feel like you're very familiar with those, do a little searching online. Make a list of activities and also of people you can talk with(id make 2 lists of people: 1 who can offer distraction 2. people you're comfortable with speaking about vulnerable issues) make a list of places to go also. Finally, what is the single most important reason you are doing this? Write that down and keep it with you. -The cost of a new life is your old one. (allow yourself to grieve the loss of the old one, but don't forget to celebrate the new one!) I'm not very active on here but please always feel free to DM if that would be helpful!

Hey Comrade, I can offer some ideas as someone who is a therapist(LAC working toward LPC). also feel free to dm, i have a hard time responding to posts or dms timely- no hexbear at work is general rule.

So, I dont know too much about art therapy, but have several music therapist friends, and they're wages are all higher than mine and they enjoy their work immensely. They do a lot of work with neurodivergent and child/adolescent clients. -Undergrad degree doesnt make too much of a difference, in a lot of ways it seems to be a hoop they want you to jump through just to prove you can. I got my BA in religious studies(focused on Tibetan Buddhism) not much of a link between that and my CMHC program(clinical mental health counseling). I did work in the field for my 20's before going back to school tho- so that made my application look great i'm sure. Only folks in my program with psych undergrad degrees were fresh out of undergrad, almost everyone else had a less direct journey. Trying to go straight from undergrad into a grad program is doable, but presents with some career issues if going the therapist route- you'll often find middle aged(or even just a few yrs older) cl's struggle taking people much younger than them as experts. A simple 'that isn't an issue for the majority of my clients, how about we try several sessions and if it is still an issue I will help you find referrals for another clinician' often does the trick, but not all the time. I would highly recommend volunteering or working in some fashion in both fields- it can be really hard to gauge a profession while just sitting on the sidelines, a few weeks of work will be a better guide than just about anything.

Friends who are librarians love the work, complain bitterly about the student debt vs wages; often find it depressing that they are the only social services available, and often feel un/under prepared(sometimes un-safe) for what the job actually entails as far as working with the public, often folks with addiction, mental health concerns, etc. And, to my understanding they do make lower wages than therapists.

both seems like excellent careers and ways to help our brother, sisters and others. Whatever you end up doing, one of these or mystery third option, looking for ways to engage that are creative and outside of the box are sorely needed. Hope something in there is helpful!

Nice work comrade! I've been on an attempted journey to do the same, having more trouble than it seems you are, but sedentary job and getting older are unavoidable big hurdles for me. You inspired me to do an extra set of core exercises this morning tho! Thanks for the motivation, stay the course- fit and healthy!