Definitely host your own node! It's trivial for a server admin to add a hidden bot to every chat and while it's still E2EE, an unknown party could still have a copy and key to read it.
Really good talk from DEFCON 32 about the service "Anom" by Joseph Cox (sorry for the lack of a link, at lunch, on mobile and about to get back to work).
I had the same experience, tried other stuff and eventually came back. Maybe I didn't have redis and Maria setup right before but it's much better for me this time around.
Totally not saying that's what was up for you though, it's not for everyone.