ButtBidet

I'm gonna start with comedy movies. At first I'll be the edgy young ugly white guy, but then I'll branch out into more serious genres. I'll win the academy awards in action in 2028. I'll marry Meryl Streep and buy a huge mansion in LA with 6 swimming pools. And you all will look back and thing "damn I should have been nicer to that ButtBidet guy when I had the chance.

I just got an email from a newish manager recently, blaming me for shit that was out of my control. I actually typed out a response just invalidating their opinion, but I decides not to send the email on a Friday when I'm pissed, and left the email in drafts.

Every interaction I have with acquaintances is filled with care, non blame, and empathy. (Close friends don't require this as much as they know me well enough already). Even when I do need to correct someone, it's always done with concern for their feelings and what they might be going through. I tend to avoid arguments, so I'm always swallowing my feelings on things. This happens A LOT when you're a mask wearing, vegan, tankie.

So when I get bullshit from people, I always end up thinking about all the shit I let go, all the battles I could have fought but didn't, all the times I tiptoed around their fucking feelings. I realise I'm being dramatic now, but damn it would be nice if people paid the kindness back.

I say this, but most people I know are really nice and forgiving to me as I'm maybe the nicest person around. It's mostly people who have some bourgeois mindset and have zero class solidarity.

Anyhow, I hate turning issues around and around in my brain because I was too nice or diplomatic to fight about it immediately. I hate how to takes hours of my life sometimes.

NEW YORK—Stressing that the memory seemed so fresh and vivid in their minds, the confused nation announced Monday that they could have sworn British entertainer Russell Brand was already a convicted sex offender. “Interesting…so Russell Brand definitely wasn’t already found guilty of sexual assault back in, like…2016, 2017?” said 39-year-old New York resident Scott Hasard, echoing the thoughts of 330 million Americans as he noted that when he saw allegations emerge about the actor, comedian, and podcast host, he had assumed it was simply repackaged content from nearly a decade ago. “You’re telling me there wasn’t a lengthy and well-publicized trial where Brand was acquitted, but then new allegations emerged? And, like, social media posts where the women got called liars? None of that happened? Huh. I even feel like I read a think-piece about how we could still appreciate Forgetting Sarah Marshall despite his crimes. It’s probably insane to even ask this, but didn’t he release a comeback special back in 2020 about how everyone tried to cancel him for the sexual assault stuff? Seriously? Not even that?” At press time, the baffled nation asked what had made Brand into such an unhinged and deeply frustrated person if all of this hadn’t kicked it off years ago.

I get that we want to bring communism to all, but it strikes me as advantageous to us if some have to work more so we can get more treats. When we obtain communism, they could get the worse jobs and more dangerous jobs, and have longer hours. I propose that we allow some exploitation for the following types of humans:

• people that scroll on their phone when they walk in crowded places
• people that play music without headphones on the train
• people that talk to damn loud in the break room
• rugby fans
• people that share a pic by sending the FB or IG link and not the image
• workmates that bring shit to the manager instead of just telling you
• workmates that definitely want to be a manager in the future

What other groups should we be OK with doing a bit of exploitation?

fuck

I think because of the heat or humidity, but this season my cishet has been very low. I went to do the doctor for a scan. They told me I have zero cysts, which really freaks me out.

I've already tried the following:

• Buying magazines about muscular guys so I can be more like them
• Putting on alpha man hypno videos
• Going to rugby matches and cheering for our lads. Who's the quarterback? Is everyone the quarterback??
• Typing "manliest song" into Spotify and turning up the volume on my laptop

Please let me know what I'm doing wrong and how I can jack my cishet quantity.

God if this happened 15 years ago I'd be super upset and defensive. I try to apply the Hexbear Code of Conduct in the real world, so I'm probably above average for cis men for being decent to trans people (but still there's a lot of space to grow!). I've always failed miserably at being a normal cis guy, I'm shit at sports, I don't do tough guy attitude well, and I'm pretty kind and emotional. I've also taken advantage of the recent explosion of gender fluidity recently to update my style a bit: there are more pinks and pastel colours in my wardrobe than their used to be.

I forgot to mention, my voice has a bit of a "gay twang", as friends have told me. Thankfully it's never bothered me, but I get asked if I'm gay a lot.

So maybe it's partly my fault, but a couple of the younger trans people in my life are convinced that I'm a trans woman. I think it's sweet, they've let me into their secret club. They often reassure me that I'm a woman if I want and that's OK.

My only real fear is that I'll waste their time or their good intentions. They seem really motivated to help me socially transition, but I can't see going anywhere past a cis dude that sometimes wears cute shirts.

I'm already posting at a black-belt level. One would think I would get more "thank you sir" and "wow your intellect blows me away", but all I get from Hexbear is shade just because my opinion on anime is just too damn advanced for anyone here.

Does anyone else have this problem? We might need to make a c/genius_only comm.

Obviously capitalism bad, but it bought greater production, technological advance, medicine, and treats for the lucky. I just wonder if 15th century serfs in France got any material benefit from owing most of their harvest to the lord. Did Baron Scrotumface help them make better plows and scythes, or was it all just expropriation?

This is a very low effort question because I'm tired from work.

I assume that people have good associations with markets. Granted there's not much markets left in the West except for random farmer's markets or other touristy stuff or local flee markets, but even then people generally like those. If one goes to a country not yet fully destroyed by capitalism, local markets are cool and neat, one gets to meet people closer to the production and distribution, and the price is and quality generally are much better. Markets are places that people build relationships. You can forget your wallet one day and the seller who knows you very well will just go "no problem, just pay me tomorrow".

I just assume that markets in the traditional sense are mostly gone from the West since rents are too damn high, and it takes far too much capital to open a shop. That and cars took all the rest of the public space. I assume, with a tiny effort being put into research, that our great grandparents knew actual markets and had good vibes with them. And capitalist propagandists just decided to co-opt it.

Saying "the market knows best" is so fucking disingenuous. People aren't gonna come out and say "billionaire with enough capital to invest know best" because of course that sounds like a poor choice to any social issue.