Alaskaball

Inspires by the story

This post is dedicated to wtypstanaccount, the devout azumangadango enjoyer

Source: https://x.com/proledevil/status/1825006950213423352

So I'm gonna be a crying mess because i tried out Hunt Showdown 1896 yesterday trying to run away and find somewhere safe away from all the monsters and end up trying to dodge being conscripted into ww1 a few years later. At least if I survive I can try to work my way into joining the Bolsheviks or grifting my way into economic and political power through abuse of future knowledge and try and lobby FDR to keep Wallace as his VP. Lots of possibilities as long as I can escape that spiritual hocus pocus zombie bullshit.

What about you folks?

Democrats continue to joke about false JD Vance rumor after years of criticizing Trump for spreading misinformation

Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz referred to the rumor during his first speech as Vice President Kamala Harris' running mate.

These fucking losers just can't but help themselves to illustrating how un-human they fucking are at every possible opportunity.

After years of condemning former President Donald Trump for spreading disinformation and conspiracy theories, Democrats are now poking fun at his running mate using a false, vulgar rumor.

Fucking insufferable. Back in the good old days of American electioneering, we'd see presidents accusing each other of being cannibals or Tsarist pimps (Jackeon vs. Adams). Nowadays these absolute losers faint at the very thought of calling a fucking weirdo a fucking weirdo.

The rumor, first posted on X last month, involves a fake passage about a sex act and a couch supposedly in Sen. JD Vance's 2016 book, "Hillbilly Elegy."

Incredibly funny bit though.

The lie spread like wildfire, spawning jokes and memes even as the original joke's author clarified that it wasn't real and later made his account private. Several news outlets published fact-checks of the claim.

Imagine what other gold is hidden on that account

The fervor reached a peak in Philadelphia, the day Vice President Kamala Harris named Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate. Walz told an arena filled with thousands of excited supporters: “I got to tell you, I can’t wait to debate [Vance]. That is if — if he’s willing to get off the couch and show up.”

Literally the most mildest midwest dad joke that waltzing Tim can make and these fucking lizards clutch at their pearls

As the crowd roared and Harris smirked behind him, Walz, who just weeks earlier started a trend of calling Republicans “weird,” quipped, “You see what I did there?”

The Republicans aren't the only fucking weirdos you absolute dorks

The Harris campaign's TikTok account, named Kamala HQ, posted a video of the moment that has been viewed over 5.3 million times.

Tik tok dance your way into the voting booth

Republicans online were quick to chastise Walz for referring to the false story. Jonathan Turley, a conservative legal scholar, attacked “the couch story” on X as having been “debunked repeatedly.”

YOU HAVE YOUR ENEMIES FUCKING WASTING PRECIOUS TIME AND ENERGY ON WHETHER OR NOT JACKASS VANCE IS A COUCH FUCKER AND NOT BUILDING PUBLIC AWARENESS OF THEIR POLITICAL POLICIES OR RUNNING THEIR OWN ATTACKS! THIS IS LITERALLY A FUCKING STRATEGIC WIN

“We are not even in the post-convention period and our leading candidates are already 'in the mud rolling around' with trolls,” he wrote.

I guess you dont like it when the shoe's on the other door, Johnny Turkey, legal scoffed extraordinare!

The content and rapid spread of the false rumor seems made for the social media age, when information that is real, false and sometimes a blend of both is presented and disseminated in similar ways — and when fact-checks often never have the same reach as the bad information.

Dawg you know nobody has historical literacy anymore. Yet again, Jackson vs Adams, coffin handbills section.

The incident has also caused rival political camps to argue over which pieces of false information are worse than others and the fuzzy line between what is harmful or just mockery.

BRING BACK DUELING

Walz wasn't the first to joke about the viral falsehood. On July 27, nearly two weeks after the original false tweet was posted and a week after it was hidden by the author, the Harris campaign account posted a screenshot on X of a 2021 tweet from Vance deriding "cat ladies."

The post was captioned "JD Vance does not couch his hatred for women."

Lol okay this sort of humors more up my alley, I'll admit.

On July 26, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee sent around a news release blasting Vance. The opening sentence read, "House Republicans are couching their public praise of Donald Trump’s vice presidential nominee with private criticism."

I'd normally make a "one joke" quip but I'm a fan of puns.

Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker, who at the time was considered to be on the short list to be Harris' running mate, leaned into the joke twice in the following days.

On the July 28 episode of ABC News' "This Week," Pritzker condemned Trump, saying, "He talks about all kinds of crazy stuff," before adding, "You know, his running mate, as you probably have heard, is, you know, getting known for his obsession with couches."

Thank God this fucking prickzer didn't become the VP candidate because he has the humor of a fucking bag of rocks.

On the July 29 "White Dudes for Harris" Zoom fundraiser, Pritzker told attendees: "I’ll keep my remarks short. I know that we have a lot of speakers. And afterward, of course, there’s another Zoom that I invite you all to called 'Couches Against Trump.'"

metaphorical dead horses beaten so much they turn into ivermectin paste have a better sense of humor than this prick from Illinois.

After Walz's speech, some Democrats continued to embrace the joke.

One fucking joke

Rep. Jared Moskowitz, D-Fla., quoted a tweet from Vance criticizing Harris for not taking questions from the media, with Moskowitz telling him: "I’ve been on Air Force 2 JD, there is a great couch on it."

At least Jared musky-twit has fragments of a humor bone to make the joke not as cringe as prickzer from earlier.

And at a rally in Las Vegas on Saturday, Rep. Dina Titus, who spoke before Walz and Harris, addressed Vance with the line, "You better hide behind that sofa, because we’re coming for you."

Tinnitus Dina better stick to letting people with senses of humor make the couch joke because Jesus christ that fucking sucks

Asked for a statement on Titus' comments, a spokesperson said, "I think we’ll just go with what’s on the tape."

Here's where a stick in the mud lib could make a "there's a pee tape?" Quip.

As the quips have gone mainstream, Republicans have blasted Democrats for helping spread the lie — even as Trump and his allies continue to share falsehoods about Harris and Walz.

You're blasting your own side with the hogs you shitlibs shut the fuck up

Democrats are defending their jokes as harmless fun, pointing to harmful past conspiracies spread by Trump and other Republicans about Democrats' running secret sex trafficking rings, being pedophiles or changing their identities for political purposes as far worse than a meme about a couch.

LET THE FUCKING POINDEXTERS HAVE THEIR FUN YOU FUCKING LIZARDS! it's their once ina lifetime opportunity to have fun in the sun so shut the fuck up

"For 2 years we had to hear that Joe Biden was an international super criminal mastermind from Despicable Me 3. You will listen to couch story," Moskowitz tweeted last week in response to Turley's complaints.

Holy shit you can make references to something other than fucking Harry Potter?

Also I'd take a criminal mastermind from a cartoon over the genocidal monster that is Joe Biden.

Representatives for the Trump and Harris campaigns, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, Pritzker and Moskowitz did not return requests for comment.

And before you say "Alaska, this is like 3 years old" well guess what, Kelly said the following

Tokyo, Paris ... different city, same old same old.

From the last time Innocent Viewers had to endure this.

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/163248

I don't usually use forums or Hexbear, I usually just post comments in MAGA streamer discords like Infrared or MWM, but they didn't seem appropriate places to post my story. So here goes, I just wanted to share this with all of you.

Nov 3 I flew to colorado for a great American road trip type tour. Not a guide or packaged deal, just going around by myself. I paid for half of the trip with the wages I earned over the last two years, my dad paid for the other half. I am 19, I guess that is normal starting college and all. (Before that I worked for my dad's company part time, so I guess you could say he paid for all of it, lol).

I did Wyoming and Nebraska, then south Dakota through Minnesota and then Wisconsin next. I am a MAGAcommunist American Communist Party pre-member so I wanted to see patriots in these places. Yes, I know they are different kinds of "patriots" and not really full patriots like us. I went to an patriotic book store in Wyoming and it had a lot of American iconography, but no Heidegger or LaRouche. Like I said, I expected that, not a surprise.

I went to Wisconsin, which everyone knows is famous for its  patriotism, its cheese and everything going on right now. Here I found directions for a local patriotic bar. I went and didn't see anybody, but it was covered in graffiti, mostly about yoopers so I couldn't read it. Whatever, I started taking pictures. Then some people came out and confronted me.

This should have been my first warning sign something was not right, because photography is not a crime. They were not violent, but they were not friendly, like asking who I was, what I wanted. They all spoke good English actually. Not uncommon in Wisconsin. I said I was a tourist and an patriot and I just wanted to take pictures. Then they got friendly and told me I should have asked first (but pictures are no NAP violation so I don't know why, but I didn't say anything) and they invited me inside.

We hung out for a while and smoked hash (there is no good dank in the midwest as you might find out like in Cali, everyone smokes hash with tobacco which isn't as cool as it sounds). We started talking about politics and patriotism. I was trying to talk about America, they were like yeah no doubt America is the best. But they wanted to talk about capitalism, capitalism this and that. This is when we started to get into a debate.

I told them that what they called MAGA patriotism is different from MAGAcommunism. They said patriotism is loving america. And I said I agreed. That is what I am saying. Real patriotism is socialist. And they said yes, that is what we are trying to get rid of. And I said no, but we don't even have that right now. We need more socialism. And everyone at the same time was like "nooo" we are patriots, we are against socialism. Patriots oppose socialism.

And I said but not MAGAcommunists. MAGAcommunists are the patriots who support socialism. I had a fanny pack (yeah, lame I know) for my camera and in that I had this red, white and blue bowtie (also super lame, it was a joke but I wasnt wearing it). And I said look, these are the Anerican colors, red white and blue, like versus the communist red and black. Well, these guys had a lot of red , white and blue in the building already so I thought they would get it.

I think that is when it started to get a really bad vibe, really tense in the air. The patriotism vs socialism thing was funny, we disagreed but I think they thought I was just confused. Everyone was uncomfortable now. Then someone said socialism wont work with democracy. And I said exactly, that's it, democracy is against patriotism. And they kind of agreed, and said yes, we don't have real democracy, just governments, and we needed more democracy. I said no, we need less democracy, democracy is the enemy. And we need to end democracy to have america. Then they were all like "noooo" again. You know that thing people do in groups when everyone all says "nooo" or expresses some disapproval at the same time.

And one of them said "but we do want to stop the government" and then they kind of spoke back and forth. I didn't really understand it. And they asked me what I meant.

So I said okay, I had the floor, I was going to tell them about MAGAcommunism. And I tried to explain to them some Eddie and Haz. I said the natural order in america is that the best rise to the top, the market picks who is the best. They compete and are peaceful. They said what do we want instead of america. I said we want workers to control their own land and businesses. They said that is what we have now. I said no, it would be even better. One of the guys said it was like Authoritarianism. And I said it is not Authoritarianism.

Eventually one of the guys spoke up and I thought he was German, but he spoke English perfectly so he may have not been. He said he knew what MAGAcommunism was and that we were basically fascists. He asked me if I thought everything should be collectively owned. And I said yes. And he asked me if I thought people were equal. And I told him yes. And that everyone would have equal rights. I said everyone has the right to live in america and not be done aggression against. But that everyone had to be treated equally without owners. He said what about immigrants and antifa. And I said that would not happen in MAGAcommunism, but yes property owners could immigrate here if they wanted to. They had to respect america.

Then he called me a fascist again, and someone else said I was a antifa. And then they basically all started shouting libtard at me, and one of them grabbed me by the wrists. They pulled me out the door, it was up three floors, and basically drug me down the stairs on my back. It hurt really bad and I remember yelling "you're hurting a fellow patriot" and things like that. "I love America with all my heart" Then they kicked me around on the ground in the hallway, before they took my camera and threw me outside. I was crying and stuff, I just sat there. I was in shock because it was so sudden. Looking back there were warning signs though.

I think they felt bad for me and gave the camera back, but when I looked later they stole the memory card with all of my waspconsin photos.

So they initiated force and theft. They broke the NAP. I knew the nationalists were not real patriots, but I never knew they would do something that bad.

I wasnt seriously hurt, just kicked around a little, lots of bruises and little cuts. I am fine guys so don't worry. Just needed to share.

Account in picture was banned within minutes of posting this information