askchapo

Sorry, but I'm gonna do the thing:

Have ya'll even read Marx?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_alienation

Karl Marx's theory of alienation describes the separation and estrangement of people from their work, their wider world, their human nature, and their selves.

Alienation is a consequence of the division of labour in a capitalist society, wherein a human being's life is lived as a mechanistic part of a social class.

Attempting to translate into more modern parlance:

Capitalism gaslights you so hard, so consistently, so utterly and totally, in every single aspect of your life, that it functionally gives you, a worker, a pleb, a persistent trauma complex that causes you to inherently devalue and dissociate from yourself.

Or perhaps more succintly:

Capitalism gives cPTSD to everyone it exploits, which is also often so thorough and normalized that many never even realize this is the case.

Its just a lack of executive function you probably have ADHD

When you help your friends you get the dopamine hit which lets you hyperfocus

Were you praised as a child for prioritizing others over yourself? Were you actively encouraged to get in touch with your body and attend to your needs and feelings?

im pretty sure this is just a lack of self worth thing

i put all my energy to helping others so i don't have any left for myself

Dunno if our situations are similar. But I exactly have this problem. It was that my parents and older siblings hyper fixated on their own issues and didn't give a fuck about mine. So I grew up with that as my normal. Hyper stressing over everyone's problem is my basic state.

I very much feel the same way. it's easier to give gifts than do chores.

I was thinking I had more to say but I don't actually, I think it really just comes down to that for me.

personally, i find it hard to care for myself when i'm not being cared for from others. not that i need someone all the time (very used to the solitude atp); it just makes me feel like "what's the point?", like the tree in the forest thing, why does it matter if i'm in shape or taking care of my hygiene or improving as a person if no one is there to even notice or acknowledge it?

i used to believe in the "do it for yourself" mentality but that's the same mentality that led to me being completely isolated. these days i've built enough resilience to continue healthy habits and take care of myself more than i used to, mainly out of spite, and i try to consider my life experience and body/mind/soul just part of my life 'experiment' that i'll see through to the end just so i can have a good laugh about it before it's all over.

I got the same deal but noticed my quality of help suffers if I don't help myself first. I do all the cooking at home and if someone's hungry I'm quick to feed them before myself but what ends up happening is I start making mistakes or delivery a poorer quality of care when I do that vs if I eat something first then help. Bigger goals I think I tend to take on other's struggles for them so I don't have to think about what I need to do too, it's left me stunted in many regards and I've come away frustrated when I'm not allowed to help (mind you I was never asked for help to begin with but that's another story)

it's easy to know what you can tolerate, it's harder to tell yourself that you deserve nice things

it's hard to judge what other people can tolerate, but easier to give them nice things you think they deserve

if i care about someone maybe they'll care about me

Lifehack: If you compost everything that's compostable, you'll never have flies in your trash.

I recommend one of those plastic coffee cans for storing compost, the biggest one you can find. Line it with napkins or paper bag so the gunk doesn't get stuck to it, and also to balance the C:N ratio.

You have more empathy than narcissism. All give and no take.