this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Funny title but in all seriousness very based, fuck missionaries I hope they all get clubbed to death by the uncontacted tribes they're pestering.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Imagine bringing disease to people just so you can feel better about telling them that when they die (from all the disease you brought) they are tormented in hell

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago

“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.”

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 days ago

So I'm guessing that foreign missionaries were coming in to preach the good word of our lord and saviour, the CIA?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 days ago

Xi is a standing 69 type of guy because he's super fit. Hell yea brother.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 days ago

Getting backshots cause the party demands it

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 days ago

Hittin it from the back, but at what cost??

[–] [email protected] 37 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Missionary slander is telling on yourself that you're bad at sex

Kiss other person, stare at them lovingly, play with their clit/dick, suck their neck, hit them, choke them

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

several of those things you can even do when there's a bedsheet with a hole in it between you

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You can even celebrate CHRISTMAS through the hole!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

We're dangerously close to the "Jack Skellington finds a glory hole" bit from cumtown

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

I feel like this is necessary context [CW: Meat, dude trying to fuck a computer]:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pehj6P0AhI

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

Oh that was great. The shellfish line killed me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago

This only bans outside missionary activities btw, if you're a properly registered church with a local congregation basic missionary work is ok. So the local Jesuit health clinic isn't shutting down as long as the CCPA knows about them

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

"The CPC wants you to spice things up in the bedroom a bit."

no, cpc wants you to respect your vows volcel-judge

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But now we will never get a sequel to the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom…

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

This is the sequel.. it's time to attack and dethrone god

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 days ago

one down, 68 left to go volcel-judge

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

I bet my childhood church is fucking pissed. squidward-chill

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

The "invincible wheel" is legal in China again! 🎉