this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Slop.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

the bible absolutely mentions manmade fish meat

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Jesus was actually a time-traveler from the future with a replicator, some hyposprays, and a medical tricorder

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Jesus was Data who accidentally time travelled whilst delivering a replicator to a distant planet and was thrown light-years back to Earth.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The Bible doesn't mention cars, planes, guns, internet, democracy, cocoa, coffee, tea, giant robots...

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It does, however, mention adultery quite a lot.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How else are you gonna pass the time back then?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

Cutting the neighbouring tribes' foreskins presumably

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Bible does have passages describing an arguably democratic and perhaps even primitive communist society, since descriptions of the apostles sharing everything can be found in Acts 2:44-45 and Acts 4:32-35. there its stated that all believers were united in heart and mind, sharing their possessions and ensuring that no one among them was in need.

conspicuously, western protestants often tend to omit those verses.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I like to bring this up when they get uppity about capitalism being God's preferred system, which is such a wild claim to make. But a Fox News host said it best, "God is great, but I love capitalism." Honestly, had I not heard them say it myself, I would have a hard time believing they were so mask-off.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago

the bible totally mentions lab grown meat. it's called Manna. it was made by Trickster Scientists to help God's warriors get completely jacked in time for battle with the Lost Tribes of Solomon before the invention of HGH and Elk Liver.

if you invest in Lord Christ Crypto, i will send you a link to the Real Ultimate Bible which will teach you how to unvaxx your own loads.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago

I'm happy that modern science is finally learning about bread and olive oil

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

Of course the conspiracy whackjob is also an A432 dork

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

sure the world is getting fucked to death by capitalism via pollution and warming, but I'm sure we can solve that through individual food consumption choices. I am very smart

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Tears streaming down my face as I beg the apple tree to respect my consumer choice and grow oranges instead.

So far no luck

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The agricultural treat printers can't come soon enough

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I legit have a wild dream of grafting an impractical number of apple varieties onto the same trunk. It would be a nightmare if it started to get fungus, though.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

And horse jizz. That's definitely in the Bible at least once.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How many times is sodomy mentioned 😵

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

hehehe that's the weed number

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

~~bronze age pervert~~ iron age pervert

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Look I like olive oil, but calling it a superfood feels like a stretch, when would you ever eat straight olive oil

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hah, mere mortal. As a Spaniard, pure extra virgin olive oil runs through my veins. I have transcended mere existence, I am become the

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is what happens when you eat 30-40 olives, right out of the jar with your fingers, as an easy weeknight dinner.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Aceitunas machacás/chupadedos hit the freaking spot so much these days, I love the flavour profile of the brine used to make them

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The celebrity chef diet.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

When I was in my early 20s they had an olive oil bottle meant to be seasoning in the restaurant closest to work, id pour half a bottle into the soup.

It was the only place I could eat near work and I was always hungry.

Eventually I would make instant ramen, with lard, tallow orremovedseed oil instead of water. Oils are generally cheap and have a lot of calories, the perfect food. I can still get a kg of tallow for under a dollar.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It doesn't mention computers once

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

What about beef tallow

[–] kadaverin0 5 points 2 weeks ago

The Bible mentions infanticide multiple times, too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

These losers would hate looking up how many times the bible mentions managing your money