this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I shit you not, this has gotten me out of trouble dozens of times. Any time I get pulled over I pull out the "golly jeez" and "oh dang" and proceed to talk the cop's ear off about the fine minutia of my incredibly boring day.

Once got pulled over in a tiny town at 3am in a boaty cadillac with a dope sticker on the back windshield. Watched the cop go from "drug bust of the century" to "please don't let anyone see me here" in about 4min. Literally watched the man's will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

[–] Amputret 62 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are you an energy vampire?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Like "What we do in the shadows" series? That's exactly who I thought of too.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Literally watched the man’s will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

He's probably old school and plays or 3rd edition rules. He just couldn't stand hearing you blaspheme his game.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If it ain't got THAC0, it ain't D&D.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Nah, I played both 2.0 and 2.5. Gygax was just a math and numbers geek who tried to gatekeep with over complication.

4.0 is NOT D&D. 1.0 barely qualifies as D&D.

2.0, 2.5, 3.0, 3.5, and 5.0 all have their upsides and downsides.

[–] outhouseperilous 2 points 3 weeks ago

Dont talk to cops, unless you can make it a kind of torture?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Spend a year working in a retirement home. Then mirror that energy and just commit wholly to the bit.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah idk what it is about them, but old people love to ramble on about anything and everything. I kind of like it honestly, I can just listen to their infodumping and occasionally say short sentences and phrases and they keep the entire conversation going for me.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Literally watched the man's will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

WHAT THE FUCK I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO DID THIS LMAO

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I read this all through the voice of Sterling Archer. Highly recommend

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Honestly, a lot of things are improved by H. John Benjamin's voice lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is basically just a set of scenes that I would fully believe took place in Archer if I hadn't seen this post.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hahaha holy shit I thought the same exact thing. I need to rewatch those soon. Been a few years. Are they making them still?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Abruptly cancelled at the end of season 14, talks of a revival are happening but tbd

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Man I stopped watching during season 5(?), whatever the Miami vice season was. maybe I should give it a try again.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

It has its ups and downs. I actually enjoyed the Miami vice season and the 2 after, though they're admittedly weaker. Then there's 3 .. odd seasons. Once that concludes it basically goes back to normal and is worth watching. Not nearly as strong as before but it's still pretty funny

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

[off topic]

I can't remember the author or title of the story.

Napoleon wants to give his enemies false information, so he picks a courier who looks bold and dashing, but has a reputation for being a complete fuck up.

The idiot manages to fumble his way past a dozen patrols and deliver the orders.

Exactly what they didn't want.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Lol I thought that's where I was

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

Tbh, I read that there were multiple Stasi Agents faking exactly that type of personality. If you can't keep a secret besides that one important secret... Everyone will think you can't keep a secret. ... which means you couldn't be a spy.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

this.... seems like ADHD.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Chunk: And this I've time, I mixed up a batch of fake barf, snuck up to the balcony at the theater, and made a noise like "huuuuh, huuuuh" and dumped it over the side.

Fratelli: I think I'm beginning to like this kid, ma.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Vibes based spying

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Me, an empath: Uh huh. Uhhuh. puts a keyboard down in front of them so they unconsciously input their password while telling me about Severance

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

New bames john movie

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I feel attacked.