this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.

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[–] [email protected] 164 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The best response came right afterwards

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (8 children)

I feel like having five dicks would be kind of cumbersome and much more difficult to use than just 1. Like, how do you aim when you pee?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

I imagine it to be like an udder but for piss

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this👌but thumb and finger not touching, or two hands.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I think these people exist, based on my observations of the toilets at my current workplace

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Just tape them together, like a fleshy gattling gun

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 96 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This one has been making the rounds, and I have to say, we need to consider that maybe the answer is The Last Stand is a very bad movie.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Look it's exceptionally bad, but it does have Gandalf politely rejecting wolverines offer of a free surgical examination.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 2 months ago (1 children)

“I just want a cure to be an OPTION to those who want it.”

“OH SO YOU SUPPORT EUGENICS NOW?!”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Was it an option for Angel in that movie?

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Lmao i didn't even get past "kills everything she touches" without my adhd brain flying away and imagining how sad and lonely she must be and how on order to have human touch, she'd have to find somebody either incapable of dying or who can realive themselves. Like a living-dead girl. Also I assumed she was gay for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

You should definitely check out this 20 page short comic: https://imgur.com/gallery/wolverines-job-isnt-always-easy-to-do-I71V6

It's basically that, and Wolverine goes in because his regeneration keeps him alive

(Edit: From Marvel's Ultimate X-Men Vol. 1 #41)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jesus CHRIST. There was no other solution? I get the pragmatism, but... Fuck. This is like an actual mercy killing.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I'm not a big comic fan (I've only read small snippits like this), but this is from the "ultimates" storyline, which to my understanding is an alternate universe where things are... much bleaker than normal Marvel

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Sheesh that's kinda dark.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Damn, that's a good comic. Dark superhero comics are definitely my thing; Worm/Ward (Parahumans universe by Wildbow, online fiction) are good recommendations if anybody likes this sort of thing

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie 23 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Nah, Wolverine was canonically cishet last I checked 🤷

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Wolverine? He can die, can't he? He's just really really hard to kill, to my knowledge, and just regenerates really really fast. But if she touches somebody and they instantly die.... That won't make much difference. Unless he's ACTUALLY immortal, rather than just effectively/virtually immortal and just really really hard to kill.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

There's a comic in which he gets annihilated and regenerates from a single surviving cell. Or from the ashes, or something. In any car, I remember it implying that his power exists beyond his physical body, because when he regenerates he isn't a mental infant - he still had his memories, even though his brain was destroyed.

However.

In the super-hero genre there's a tenancy to one-upmanship. Later artists amplify the powers of the character more and more until they are like unto gods. Superman may be the best example of this; in one series he goes and hangs out at the center of the sun for a few centuries and comes out omnipotent. If you go back to his roots in the mid-century, he was a super man, but not a god. Wolverine kept getting more and more powerful as the decades went on, until that arc where he regenerates from a single cell. I don't think the original creator imagined him being that indestructible.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Her touch isn't instant death, but it's fast enough that it makes no difference to most people. His regeneration can keep up, but barely. And at the end of the first movie, he does touch her.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

He's fine in the source material

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Except her power is to take other people's powers. Theirs stops working shortly after contact is made. His regeneration might help for a few seconds... Until it stops working because she stole it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It has been a while since I've seen the movie, so I looked it up to make sure. Her power is to borrow other people's powers through physical contact. Essentially, if contact is short and he can regain his power fast enough (which he does), he's fine. Those few seconds his regeneration helps with are all he needs.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

That doesn't do a whole lot to help with the touch issue this entire thread was about. When people talk about wanting human touch, they don't mean just a half second tap.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Huh? Rogue's power is that she sucks power/energy out of other people, wolverine regenerates so he's fine.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This happened in the movies. He survived, but was not "fine".

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Regeneration is his power. She takes powers. Regeneration won't help him for very long.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wolverine? He can die, can’t he?

Depends on the author and how "important" he is to the story. In the original civil war comic arc, a Nitro dude exploded him down to the shiny bones. Wolvie came back from that in 5 minutes. On the days of future past comic arc in the 80s, oldverine dies from a sentinel blast that also leaves him as just metal bones.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

That's not even counting the guy that instantly dissolved everyone around him and the X-Men sent Logan to take him out.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I always hated this plot line in these movies. No one has any empathy for the struggles Rogue is going though. Everyone else can be both a living weapon and have a normal life, but Rogue has to choose. If you wanted to framed this as trans metaphor, everyone else looks like a bunch of bigots. Honestly, the more and more you breakdown what Xavier is doing, the more and more he just looks like a different kind of villain. Seriously, how many of the mutants powers ever get explored for non-combat reasons? If this was just about adults, it'd be one thing, but this guy is in charge of children who are being kept away from their parents.

But nope, in Storm's eyes, Rogue is perfect just the way she is. As a living weapon.

I think this may have been were I started thinking there's something wrong with Hollywood and comic book writers.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Doom Patrol hits that plot point a lot harder than the X-Men. The tv series is excellent.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, and all the cure-framing is fucked, but they failed to show this. They are mutants, so changing them into ordinary humans means at least re-writing all the cells in the body, which is way more drastic a change than what we now know as gender transition. This kind of changes is not a fucking cure, it is mutation of different kind, in the terminology of this universe

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

This is why I don't join fandoms. It's just nicer to like what I like and not have to deal with everybody else's wrong takes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

But what if she touches herself? Her power has a exception rule? She can't exploit that?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

She kills by sucking the life out of people. If she sucked the life of herself, it would just be replaced by itself.

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