this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2025
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Science Memes

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166
Prehistoric sex toys are kind of hard to look at (mashable.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
28 comments fedilink hide all child comments
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[–] [email protected] 60 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Right up there with "they were roomates".

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (2 children)

“fertility totems”, surely, “for religious or ceremonial uses”.

Maybe the uses were only masturbating oneself to orgasm with them, though it must be noted that this was done as solemn, mystical propitiation to fertility gods, rather than purely for sexual gratification.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Would it help if it was described as a "religious experience"?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I mean, if I'm busy all week a-huntin' and a-gatherin' I'd make a ceremony of it too. Didn't even have Instagram to scroll, so why not luxuriate?

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

a classic

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

Looking at those all day is enough to break anyone.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

F in the chat for all the improvised fleshlights that did not survive the march of time. Not even an ancient cum sock.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Probably made out of squishy animal bits instead of the bones.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

still practiced to this day in wales

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago

"Prehistoric sex toys are kind of hard to look at - I keep getting thrown out of the museum after trying to get hands on experience with them"

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

Well if they were soft to look at, they wouldn't be much use would they?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Great... Now thats also part of my browser history

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I love it when adverts get placed next to dildos 🤣

[–] Someonelol 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Wtf is up with humanity's primordial fascination with cut dicks?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

"Totally retracred or cut" means either the foreskin is cut or that it's just pulled back.

We don't know if it's cut or not, we can only speculate it looks like one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's hard to cut body parts intricately. Idk.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

There are many non-dildoish uses for which it may have been intended but without doubt anyone at the time would have seen the penile similarities - Dr. Martin Rundkvist, archaeologist

Brilliant.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

If you drew eyes on them, any of the lady image could become characters in a Ghibli movie.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why are they circumsized? Surely it would have been less work to leave the stone foreskin uncut.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I suspect many of the uncut ones are less obvious and thus may have had their purpose misidentified. Also, it's unclear if these are cut or merely retracted

[–] [email protected] -4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Because our ancestors didn't get up their own ass about buzzwords.

They got up their own ass about manhood rites instead.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If the tools on display in the article are anything to go by, there is a distinct possibility they just got up their own ass.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

shouldn't they have flared bases?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Cool blog post: https://artisticlicenseorwhyitrustnoone.blogspot.com/2022/11/bullshit-memes-8-ancient-egyptian.html?m=1

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Thanks for sharing!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

https://norwegianscitechnews.com/2015/02/stone-phalluses-and-ancient-fertility-cults/

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Unfortunately flared bases weren't invented until the 19th century.