this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] ArcaneSlime 124 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Fire early"

Uhhh, "cowboy duals" were on "draw," not "make ready, aim, fire." They had rifled barrels and six shooters by then not smoothbore muzzle loaded flintlocks with one ball that's likely to miss.

"There was 40ft between them when they stopped to make their play, and the swiftness of the Ranger is still talked about today. Texas red had not cleared leather 'fore a bullet fairly ripped"

This line means Texas Red was slower on the draw than the Arizona Ranger with the big iron on his hip, that's all. Texas Red reached for it (they stopped to make their play), but the Arizona Ranger was so much faster (the swiftness of the Ranger) that Red's gun never even fully made it out of the holster (Texas Red had not cleared leather) before the Ranger's shot connected ('fore a bullet fairly ripped).

BTW: These duals are almost entirely an invention of hollywood. They did happen but very very rarely and not exactly like the movies portray. I fucking love Marty's music but the music he made isn't based on historical fact, but rather hollywood fantasy. It's basically The Outlaw Josey Wales in song form, and there's nothing wrong with that.

https://hi-luxoptics.com/blogs/history/wild-west-quick-draw-duels-how-real-were-they

That said, by the hollywood rules, the dual was fair as all hell.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Reading dual instead of duel messes so much with my head.

[–] ArcaneSlime 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Lmao well alright I never claimed to be a spelling bee champ, there's no squiggles on homophones! Haha

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Kinda weird that we don't have grammar checking just built-in to language packs, etc.

Of course, as I'm writing this, Boost is giving me grammar checking, so now I don't know what to believe.

[–] ArcaneSlime 1 points 2 months ago

Tbf I'd probably reject it anyway because it'd rely on AI and I'm basically 2s away from microwaving anything "smart" and communicating by encoded mail only lol.

[–] [email protected] 95 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

For your convenience:

To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day. Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say. No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip. For the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip. Big iron on his hip.

It was early in the morning when he rode into the town. He came riding from the south side slowly lookin' all around. He's an outlaw loose and running, came the whisper from each lip. And he's here to do some business with the big iron on his hip. Big iron on his hip.

In this town there lived an outlaw by the name of Texas Red. Many men had tried to take him and that many men were dead. He was vicious and a killer though a youth of 24. And the notches on his pistol numbered one and 19 more. One and 19 more.

Now the stranger started talking, made it plain to folks around. Was an Arizona ranger, wouldn't be too long in town. He came here to take an outlaw back alive or maybe dead. And he said it didn't matter he was after Texas Red. After Texas Red.

Wasn't long before the story was relayed to Texas Red. But the outlaw didn't worry men that tried before were dead. 20 men had tried to take him, 20 men had made a slip. 21 would be the ranger with the big iron on his hip. Big iron on his hip.

The morning passed so quickly, it was time for them to meet. It was 20 past 11 when they walked out in the street. Folks were watching from the windows, everybody held their breath. They knew this handsome ranger was about to meet his death. About to meet his death.

There was 40 feet between them when they stopped to make their play. And the swiftness of the ranger is still talked about today. Texas Red had not cleared leather 'fore a bullet fairly ripped. And the ranger's aim was deadly with the big iron on his hip. Big iron on his hip.

It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round. There before them lay the body of the outlaw on the ground. Oh, he might have went on living but he made one fatal slip. When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip. Big iron on his hip. Big iron, big iron. When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip. Big iron on his hip.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is this purely fictional or does it have some basis in reality?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

The song is purely fictional.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Fire quicker than your opponent is the essence of the duel. There's no way to "fire early" because they are watching for you to reach for your gun.

Although I always found the genre contrived. If they were an actual threat, you'd shoot them in their sleep.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago

You’re entirely correct. Showdowns are a trope of westerns, anyway. If I remember correctly, there’s only historical evidence of one in the old west.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There’s no way to “fire early” because they are watching for you to reach for your gun.

The 'conventional' wisdom is to wait for the other duelist to reach for their gun because reflex is faster than conscious action.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well it's not. Not even close. Action beats reaction every time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Still, while participants moved faster when reacting than initiating, reactors only rarely beat initiators. The extra milliseconds it took volunteers to respond to the movements of their opponents greatly offset any benefit the reactive advantage granted.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

But I'll see what I can do.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Maybe the poster thought there was a countdown. Not this one though, so you're absolutely right.

It works better when both gunners care about innocents. Imagine the ranger couldn't find hits hideout, a big enough place it wasn't easy, and Texas red didn't wanna shoot up the place he was living.

The ranger might get a message saying a time and place, so they can meet without causing a bunch of damage or risking innocents.

Of course, the moustache-twirling sort of villains wouldn't work with that at all. Just can't trust them. But there's plenty of room for this to make sense sometimes.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

These were the "good old days" when fighting had rules. National armies would literally line up facing each other in uniforms with literal X-marks-the-spot targets.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

National armies would literally line up facing each other in uniforms with literal X-marks-the-spot targets.

The reason for armies meeting up like that, and in bright colors, is to avoid friendly fire, not because of honor or anything like that. When you have a bunch of peasants dragged from their homes and shove a musket in their hands, anything more complex than "Holy shit, holy fucking shit, do NOT shoot or stab the guys in BRIGHT RED, only those in BRIGHT BLUE" tends to get lost in the chaos of battle.

[–] red_bull_of_juarez 63 points 2 months ago (3 children)

For those that don't know the song Big Iron from Marty Robbins:

https://youtu.be/-NuX79Ud8zI

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Umm... No? The song is from Fallout: New Vegas, duh.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

And then Fallout: New Vegas went on to do a bunch of similar songs for Breaking Bad.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I know the song but I was thinking it was a Shane reference

[–] GeeDubHayduke 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Guess it's back to patrolling the Mojave again.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Really makes you wish for nuclear winter

[–] GeeDubHayduke 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Given the current global situation? Fuckin' A. It'd be a step up, for sure.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't remember this quote.

But I do remember "Yeah! Who Won The Lottery? I Did!"

[–] GeeDubHayduke 4 points 2 months ago

I stepped out of the RP for a sec there. I got bettah.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

It's not the first shot counts, it's the first that hits. Take your time kid.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Big iron on his hiiiiiiiip

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

The town of Agua Fria is safe once more.