"Relationships with parents can be difficult, but mine aren't that bad, they tried to make me detransition and almost murdered me, but it could be worse "
this is like half of the trans people I know and it makes me concerned
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"Relationships with parents can be difficult, but mine aren't that bad, they tried to make me detransition and almost murdered me, but it could be worse "
this is like half of the trans people I know and it makes me concerned
I dont post in these megas often but...
Today is my hrt removedversary. Gonna get all dolled up in a cute dress and put on some makeup and put some bows and flowers in my hair and then not go outside at all. I'll be staying in with my dear woof and watching some anime :33333 .
I came out to my mom, the last person I really cared to tell. And I mean on the bright side it could have been significantly worse. She told me she loved me and was sorry I was going it alone for so long, and suspected a conversation like this would happen eventually. She thought I might be gay and was waiting on me to tell her. Butttttttttt then I told her my name and pronouns and if she would have told me it was a cute name, I would have cried some good solid happy tears. But she didn't. She said "I'm not sure I'd be able to use that yet. You'll have to give me time." Which to me reads like that's never going to happen.
my mom was the same when i came out to her a few months ago, had the "oh i'm not surprised but i just thought you were gay" and the "i might need time to use your name and pronouns."
spoiler
i wanted to give her some grace, figured it can take people some time to unlearn a reflex, but when it didn't seem like she was putting in any effort or taking it seriously. i had to have a talk with her about it. i tried to explain how much it hurt in a way that wasn't too aggressive or accusatory, but she just listed off things she thought proved she cared for me and respected my transness despite (in her words) "not updating her vocabulary in the timeframe i felt was appropriate."
...the next time talked to her i got pretty blunt, told her that deadnaming or misgendering me was basically calling me a slur and that the "appropriate timeframe" to stop slurring is immediately, that she can't care for or love or respect me if she can't even address me with basic respect and dignity. i was very lucky and that got through to her, and she improved pretty quickly if for no other reason than she understood better how important it is to me.
obviously you know your own relation with your mom and your own relationship with conflict better than i do, but it may be helpful to be blunt with her about it? idk... i'm sorry if this isn't helpful or if you're not looking for advice
i hope she turns up for you. i hope she gives you the love and respect you deserve
Going from dating as a cishet man to a trans lesbian is both a blessing and a curse
The relationships are so much better but holy shit it's so much harder to just get a date
Not sure if it actually has to do with being trans but it's so painful to my self esteem
Hello trans thread, I have been in a three month depression hole because I got unlawfully fired. I had to move out of my apartment because my unemployment isn't enough to cover it. I am fortunate enough to be living with my partner. I also ran out of my medications, which has been even worse for my mind and caused me to go through withdrawals. Today is the first day in three months that I am going to bother to dress well or wear makeup, because spite is simply the most powerful motivator I have ever known. Death to America and death to all fascists.
When I hope trans mega posters will support me doing risky behavior, but they instead insist that my behavior is risky (fine, i will get my ears pierced at a studio instead of doing it in my bathroom)
please do
disregarding all the hygiene benefits, a professional is more likely to get the piercings symmetrical
Got my first femme haircut yesterday afternoon, and I'm having intense gender feels from it
i think the fact i managed to mostly keep up femme voice while deeply crying during therapy means that i'm fucking crushing it out here
I'm terrified of being a bad person on the inside and it makes it so hard to let the real me out of the cage I've built for her
decided to delete xiaohongshu. it's a neat app, and i'm glad people are having a nice time with it... i just realised pretty quickly that for me personally, it's gonna fill the same niche as a tiktok or twitter i.e. being a net negative for my mental health. especially BDD and general envy of other people which can fester into self-hatred. as well as having to see bigoted comments with much more frequency than a space like hexbear, of course. it's a problem i've found with all image-heavy, non-anonymous social media, and i think just cutting it out is the self-care move for me.
thinking i might need to for a little while, all the news about trump is making me super anxious and im adjusting my anxiety meds rn lol
^ me
also bought a nice bra today and i'm a B cup now, that's pretty cool
Planned Parenthood is trying to claim I'm 2 inches taller than I was BEFORE I started HRT. There's absolutely no way I'm that tall and I'm calling BS
EDIT: measured again at home, i'm exactly as tall as i thought i was, PP is wrong
Came out to another friend and had a great 2 hour conversation catching up. And this morning my partner sent me a very risque selfie and many positive affirmations. I wish for all of my trans comrades to experience this amount of love all the time
I went to a trans support group this week
Took a friend and my roommate was already a regular so I wasn't alone which was really nice. I mainly went to help my friend cuz it seems like she really needed to find some kind of community, but I enjoyed it a lot as well. I didn't say much since I'm naturally super shy in new groups. Definitely wanna go back.
name update (this body of text became way more than the name update)
So update from a few months ago (probably more than a few at this point) but I'm still in name purgatory. I have a name that I use now, and a name that I used before that one, both outside of the original deadname. However, I don't really like either of them, and any names I come up with myself can't seem to stick, don't feel like they fit 1/2 the time, or both. So, a solution: have other people come up with names for me! However, this doesn't always work, and more serves as a brainstorming process. My mom already did it, and a lot of the names, if not all of them after reading the books she got them from, didn't fit. My sister has now come up with a list and given it to me. It's a lot smaller, but she's also not at all afraid of showing her bias. There's one name in particular that she really likes for me, and she made that quite obvious. I think I'm going to sit down with her tomorrow and pick one of them to use, at least for a few months (and I'll probably pick another one as well, as a "middle" name but actually more of a second name). If it doesn't stick, rinse and repeat, but I hope something manages to stick eventually. I don't know why I really struggle to identify with names, and it's not exactly something new to transition either. Don't ask me to come up with usernames for myself, I really struggle to and it ends up being something basic (like Luna), or something basic (like AshenWolf), and I could not for the life of me pick something more fitting. It's either just a name that happens to be moon in spanish that ended up being a funny Fire Emblem reference, or AshenWolf, another Fire Emblem reference.
I ended up going on a bit of a tangent, and I'm going to keep going, but I think I have a lot of issues with a static identity. I feel like I'm always changing based on the situation, putting on different masks (not necessarily positive or negative) and becoming different people depending on who might handle the situation best. It's why I'm always changing my pronouns, profile picture, etc. I'm trying something new with using two accounts on here, one with she/her pronouns and one with she/they pronouns and switching based on how I feel or what persona I feel like posting with. I'm going to be honest, things like username, profile picture, even previous history, affect how I post. Luna is a certain persona, and AshenWolf is another, and it's quite weird how sending one thing from one account just feels wrong on the other. I guess that's another reason for changing profile pictures so much, maybe.
Regardless, and because I'm just going to ramble and repeat my points, I'm sure I'll find a name, or even a couple, that will stick. For now though, it feels like the usernames (Luna, AshenWolf + variations like Ash) stick better than names for me, but I also don't know if I could see myself using them as IRL names, and not just for opsec reasons. Okay I'm done now, hopefully you all don't think the accounts talking to you have been frauds, despite a lack of concrete identity and the persona talk I assure you that they're not and they're both genuine parts of me.
If you somehow made it to the end, thanks for reading this wacky vent of a wall of text.
I love my trans comrades
Just shaved and I think this is the best I have ever looked. Honestly really surprised with just how far I've come along! Comparing new photos to old ones is like looking at a new person
I thought this site was actually purged of this, but no... We still have a bunch of fuckers running around calling people AMAB'S and AFAB's for zero reason and refusing to acknowledge that their langue is harmful. They use AMAB as a noun literally as just a "woke" replacement for "biological male" when using any other kind of langue would have sufficed. ACTUALLY would rather just be called slurs on this website than that shit.
The struggle for trans lives is a struggle we can win, we must win, and we will win.
Stay alive β‘
Wtf is this bullshit. Why do I have to go to work? Why can't I just be cute, snuggle up to someone and be called pet names?
society if HRT made you look sort of like your mom instead of sort of like your dad if he transitioned 45 years ago
Behold, my 1000th comment!
So finally, a decade after cracking my egg and 5 years of HRT, Iβm going to legally change my name and sex. But oh boy is this giving me a headache. Just so much bureaucratic bullshit I have to wade through and navigate.
And on top of that [CW: institutional transphobia]:
This week there was a new court ruling here in Austria that could potentially make this whole process illegal. It was specifically about enbies but in the ruling they included a paragraph about your "biological sex" being the deciding factor. That means that in the worst case it could affect all trans people, including me. So amazing timing for me... like it just had to happen at the exact same day that I started the whole process -.-
My nerves are completely done because of this and fucking RIP my sleeping schedule
But when this Herculean task is over, Iβm going to enjoy some nice teas that I ordered recently: A really fancy sheng pu-erh from 2007, some tea that is supposedly from the 80s and another one from the 70s, so over 50 years old.
I also got myself a nice light-blue celadon teacup that I can use together with my pink gaiwan and my white gong dao bei on top of my ebony tea tray. Perfect set-up to celebrate this special occasion.
Cursed bit idea: βtrans broken arm syndromeβ but itβs where the republicans ban medical treatment for broken arms because some of the people utilizing it happen to be trans
I've hit the first day on E where I feel the need to top instead of being a pillow princess
society if HRT made you look like ur favorite anime girl instead of your mom
flyingcarsandshit.png
my doctor: please take the medicine that gives u periods, pls u have pcos and it can't be treated any other way
me: hehe no period and facial hair go brrrr
CW: Transphobia, state oppression, passports
It's been confirmed (through leaked internal memo) that passport gender marker changes and "X" markers have been suspended: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jan/23/trump-rubio-x-gender-passport
In theory, this sort of administrative ruling is supposed to have a comment period, but obviously the administration will run rushod over those rules if not halted by the courts.
recent learnings from the gay bar (NSFW):
every switch is flippable
when the poly couch is occupied (by cis dudes - literally transphobic!) and you drop all the transbians off on the floor, things get a lot wilder
i'm crushing hard on the two cuties i ended up in a cuddle pile with, can't get out of my head how sweet and kind they are and how good it felt when they were snuggling up to me and each other like the two loveliest kittens. Damn.
i am so tired of being an independent adult i absolutely need an authority figure to tenderly take care of and pamper me
hii im new here! excited to meet new peeps ^^
been kind of missing reddit lately despite how terrible it actually is.. aand so far hexbear is looking like only the bits of reddit i actually enjoyed, so that's pleasant :D
anyway i just injected my 90th estradiol dose, its weird, it really does feel like i started it yesterday
autistic marxist leninist bottoms be like: "oh my god someone please tell me what the fuck to do" and it's me i'm autistic marxist leninist bottoms
got banned from [email protected] like an hour after banning a .world mod for transphobia. (link)
not using [email protected] is probably for the best, from a self care standpoint anyways.
Something nice happened today. I was out with a few friends and this random ass dude just comes up to us and starts taking part in our conversation like it's the most natural thing in the world. That's okay I guess but he starts to say some borderline bigoted stuff that definitely does not pass the vibe check.
I was about to head home anyway so I decide to just leave because I don't want to listen to it. I didn't really expect anyone to care or notice and just planned to head home, but after like 20 seconds my friends just left that guy and hurried to catch up to me. In hindsight it was kinda obvious they would do that rather than hang out with some creepy stranger, but in the moment it genuinely meant a lot to me, like seeing that these people actually notice me and care about me was such a comforting experience.
doomy bad vibes
Boy howdy am I dooming today. Worrying that it is too late to get a passport, and even thinking about leaving sucks given how many painful conversations I've had with my partner about it - in short, he's not going anywhere, and the idea that I might have to causes obvious stress in our relationship. He says that he will protect me but like, if shit hits the fan he won't be able to.
I live in a deep blue area which might provide a little layer of protection, but does that just mean I'll be even more entrenched and trapped when the liberals roll over and turn me in?
Aaaaaaaaaa I just started a long shift at work, and can't just distract myself because my clients are also dooming about this stuff.
when she says that trains are her hyperfixation
the very same government that refuses to recognize me as a woman also recognises Denali as Mt. Cracker and just unilaterally named an entire sea after itself. These guys sound deeply confused
I think I'm letting go of the idea that I'm going to have a good relationship with my parents someday. I've been starting to feel secure enough in other areas of my life that I think I can face that.
I had assumed I was going to see at least a flash of compassion this week, but it just hasn't been there. That really made me rethink the other assumptions I was making.
I painted my nails (was definitely not reminded to do so by one of you ;)) and I'm honestly impressed with myself! It's not the best, but it's not bad either, especially considering that I really struggle with fine motor function. Autism strikes again, but HAHA I still win. I'm like 7 months in, have had my nails painted since before I transitioned, and this is the first time I have painted them myself. I feel really proud, like it's one more thing I can do for myself
When you are explaining everything thatβs wrong with your body to someone and they give you the non-bdd stare.
So what the fuck should we do now. Im really considering leaving the country