this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2025
46 points (97.9% liked)

badposting

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badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

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owl-wink
Ah, Hexbear, welcome! I hope you're ready for an unforgettable theory session!

og-hex-bear
Myeah...

[Hexbear enters. In the dining room, She sits at the table and places a book down, while Dirt Owl runs to the study, only to find their copy of Das Kapital is covered in dust, and gasps in horror.]

bird-screm-2
Oh, egads! My theory is ruined!

[Hexbears' knocking on the kitchen door can be heard as Dirt Owl looks at Badposting across the street from their window]

owl-pissed
"But what if... I were to shitpost and disguise it as my own theory?
floppy-owl
Ohohoho...Delightfully devilish, Dirt Owl!

[Dirt Owl begins to climb through the window, but Hexbear enters the kitchen and catches Dirt Owl trying to leave.]

hexbear-shining
DIRT OWWWWWWWWL!

bird-screm1
Hexbear! I was just...uh... stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?

ursus-hexagonia
"Why is there dust coming out of your theory, Dirt Owl?" [points to the dusty, unread theory]

bird-screm1
Uh... oh! That isn't dust, it's smoke! smoke from the hard effort I'm putting into practicing leftist theory. [Taps their head] think-about-it Mmmm, leftism!

[Once a suspicious Hexbear leaves the kitchen, Dirt Owl breathes a sigh of relief, climbs and runs across the street to Badposting, where they buy beanis to replace their dusty theory. The scene cuts to the dining room, where Dirt Owl comes from the study with beanis on a silver tray.]

owl-wink
I hope you're ready for mouthwatering beanis!

og-hex-bear
I thought we were having "Leftist Theory".

orly
Oh no, I said 'beanis'! That's what I call leftist theory.

ursus-hexagonia
You know, this beanis is quite similar to the ones they have at c/badposting.

owl-wink
[chuckles] Oh, no! Patented Dirt Owl thought! Old Maoist recipe.

ursus-hexagonia
For leftist theory?

owl-wink
Yes.

hexbear-shining
Yes, and you call it theory, despite the fact it's obviously shitposting . [opens one of the beanis' and exposes the beans low effort pattern to Dirt Owl. Farding from the study can be heard]

bird-screm1
Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... Excuse me for one second.

hexbear
Of course.

[Dirt Owl enters and leaves the study swiftly upon seeing it is now covered in poopoo]

owl-wink
[pretends to yawn] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

og-hex-bear
Yes, I should be-- [notices the intense shidding coming from the study] GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?

bird-screm1
October revolution?

hexbear-shining
Uh... OCTOBER REVOLUTION!? IN THIS DECADE, IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR STUDY!?

orly
Yes!

sicko-hexbear
May I see it?

owl-pissed
...No.

all 17 comments
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

I'm fucking laughing

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Work of fucking art

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"Dirt Owl! The house smells like shit!"

"No mother, it's just the October Revolution!"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Petition to ban Dirt_Owl from badposting so that these incredible posts end up where they belong, on main

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

This is how we win the class war

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

lmaooo damn you dirt owl.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Is this what Moo Deng was thinking about earlier when she attacked a basket in her pen?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Well Dirt Owl, you are an odd bird, but I must say, you post a good Beanis.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

[chuckles] Oh, no! Patented Dirt Owl thought! Old Maoist recipe.

michael-laugh ahahhahahahahahaha

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Mods tagline please

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

It's beautiful 🥲

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

:order-of-beanis: