this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sleep on her side of the bed. Then don’t tell her what you did.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

This is some next-level chaos.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She'll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

And bits of dried pizza cheese.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town that's the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

He said he only had a weekend though.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't change your underwear for two days.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

I'm proud of you.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.

LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing."

We are not the same meme

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I lasted like 40 mins before hitting the vape pen

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Again, Factorio

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Try a tab of lsd and go for a nice walk in the woods

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ugh. I hate it when people have a far easier time than I do finding drugs. Every dealer assumes I’m a cop

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Mushrooms are sold in head shops in Oakland, California. I understand that to be the case in a number of cities. You may be able to make your way to one of them.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Ooh, study for 14 hours straight and forget to eat! That's usually what I do. Wild times.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you don’t like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Heh yeah. I'll just call up my xoke dealer.

Edit:

bout to get wild

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What about the sink I poop in?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Waffle stomp!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Cleaning that up is gonna be work.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like a good time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like the need for more cocaine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No one has ever been more correct.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

You guys are amazing

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

grind leetcode

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Rearrange the lounge, or if you want to play it safe, maybe just the shed

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Truest statement.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with

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