The Monkey's Paw

701 readers

2 users here now

Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

late_night@sopuli.xyz

ToothpasteSundae

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28

I wish for a world without the automobile. (infosec.pub)

submitted 3 weeks ago by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

5 comments fedilink

Sometimes, I really feel like the invention of cars has done more harm than good. Let's go back to good times, and rely on other forms of transportation potentially better for ourselves and the planet.

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I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard, and, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. (lemmy.radio)

submitted 4 weeks ago by early_riser@lemmy.radio to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

15 comments fedilink

AND (because it won't fit in the title) In no way should the granting of this wish involve the country of Turkey or the broader Turkic peoples.

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45

I wish we shed our skins like snakes instead of small flakes all the time (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 month ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

15 comments fedilink

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19

I wish my own hands could grant wishes (lemmy.radio)

submitted 2 months ago by early_riser@lemmy.radio to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink

Humans are members of the great ape family, and apes are a specific type of monkey, making our hands literal monkey paws.

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17

I wish the Moon had a moon. (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 2 months ago by Probius@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

10 comments fedilink

I just think it'd be really neat to look up and see a smaller moon orbiting the Moon. Optionally, I'd also like the Moon to start rotating at a rate of one rotation per day so we can see more than just one side of it.

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12

I wish I could be rid of my allergies (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 3 months ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

8 comments fedilink

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8

I wish I had the super strength of Superman, with my entire body being able to safely deal with the increased forces (programming.dev)

submitted 4 months ago by ICastFist@programming.dev to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

7 comments fedilink

8

53

I wish the thing causing my hiccups would manifest as a physical object so I could beat the everloving shit out of it with a hammer and finally go to sleep. (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Probius@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

30 comments fedilink

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28

I wish all declawed cats got their claws returned to normal (programming.dev)

submitted 4 months ago by zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

3 comments fedilink

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20

I wish for two of the best Belgian beers ever made. (infosec.pub)

submitted 5 months ago by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

10 comments fedilink

Would really hit the spot right about now.

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7

I wish I could have peace and quiet for a few hours (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 6 months ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

6 comments fedilink

12

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I wish my hippos were less hungry hungry (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 6 months ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink

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9

I wish the magic hadn't gone away in Star vs The forces of evil. (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by Web_Rand@lemmy.ml to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

7 comments fedilink

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34

I wish for a bowl of extra spicy chicken curry. (infosec.pub)

submitted 7 months ago by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

10 comments fedilink

Would hit the spot right about now.

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31

I wish to no longer receive text messages from various numbers about Ohio politics (lemmy.keychat.org)

submitted 8 months ago by key@lemmy.keychat.org to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink

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I wish my new water bottle contained an infinite supply of ice cold drinking water. (infosec.pub)

submitted 9 months ago by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

10 comments fedilink

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39

I wish my house cleaned itself (programming.dev)

submitted 9 months ago by zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

20 comments fedilink

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21

I wish for servers at restaurants to always bring my tea or water with lemon already included, without me having to ask for it separately. (infosec.pub)

submitted 10 months ago by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

14 comments fedilink

Save a few words. Make life easier. How can this possibly go wrong?

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I wish cows were the size of cats so we could have them as pets (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 10 months ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

20 comments fedilink

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43

I wish I could freeze and unfreeze time at will and explore this time-frozen world with my bestie (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

17 comments fedilink

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I wish that every website that works only in Chrome also has to be compatible with Firefox. (infosec.pub)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

5 comments fedilink

I wouldn't have Chrome installed if it weren't for those crappy school and government websites that refuse to work on anything else but Chrome.

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I wish my body to be in peak human shape no matter what I do (lemmy.keychat.org)

submitted 1 year ago by key@lemmy.keychat.org to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink

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11

I wish my dog could walk himself. (infosec.pub)

submitted 1 year ago by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

12 comments fedilink

It would be so much more convenient for the both of us, and then he could go outside, anywhere, whenever he likes.

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I wish for Linux to have a respectable marketshare of 20% (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago by Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

16 comments fedilink

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10

I wish I was good enough at football to play professionally (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

7 comments fedilink