You could be a competing cummonger in the same city as @[email protected]!
Imagine walking up to the bank and opening your overcoat to reveal the dozens of tied up condoms sewn into the liner in rows with their donor dossiers (maybe you have a number scribbled down in a cocktail napkin, a business card or even the holy grail, a stolen id!).
You should actually try to get arrested. Be taken into custody during dinner.