spykee

joined 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I'm a dude. I DON'T have a vibrator.
No, I do NOT.
The fuck you talking about?
The one in my bedroom? That one belongs to my flatmate.
He hides it in my room.
I don't care if you don't believe me.
.
..
...
FUCK YOU!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wifey.
Wifey texts most to her boyfriend.
Wifey's boyfriend texts most to his side chick.
Wifey's boyfriend's side chick texts most to her boss to lure him into banging her so that she could blackmail him.
Wifey's boyfriend's side chick's boss texts most to his wifey because she got his balls and wallet in her wrinkly palms.
Wifey's boyfriend's side chick's boss' wifey texts me because she heard from a little birdy that I eat ass.
Eat ass. It's worth it boys. \

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Send me noods.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

You shower naked?
You slut!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

...and I thought I'm the only man with dreams.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Whoa!
Tell me you are kidding.
Seriously?
....and here I was thinking, "Finally! One trusted piece of for-profit AI company that I can share my deepest secrets without a worry."
Good heavens!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Absolutely. That's why they spend their early years in huge barns.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

You take as much time as you want, but come back for sure. My patchy beard has already declared a peace treaty seeing that I now know how to destroy it's existence. I want my pubes too to feel the terror of my updated skill. Gonna flash my silky smooth crotch to my lady friends as foreplay, but that can only happen when you come back with the rest of the sacred texts. Counting on you, former nurse assistant.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Good heavens, a motorised zipper on my trousers that will get my amazing humongous dong out in the open when my hands are busy fondling the hordes of skimpily dressed women with questionable character.
I will buy this.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Brah, I don't even close the toilet door when I poop if there's nobody in the house.
Yes, I am disgusting. Thank you for noticing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I am a semi functioning human with empathy, I also choose Tacos.

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