Thank you for your thoughtfulness and measured response on this. I moved to lemm.ee because of the federation policy, and I'm heartened to see that you haven't abandoned it despite plenty of personal pressure to do so.
I think you're right that the shininess of federation will wear off after a while. I appreciate the mods/admins of both instances putting in the effort to make it work in the meantime.
Just in time, too. Another settlement needs our help