What a spoiled baby, whining about how his birthday party didn't live up to his dreams.
Apple Music is the streaming subscription service. iTunes Store is where you go to buy individual songs or albums. They both show up in the same iTunes library.
You are complaining about something that is not specific to Apple Music. It can happen, and it sucks, but Apple is no different from any other online music purchasing store in this regard.
iTunes Store purchases are free from DRM and can be backed up just like any other libre digital purchases.
All songs offered by the iTunes Store come without Digital Rights Management (DRM) protection. These DRM-free songs, called iTunes Plus, have no usage restrictions and feature high-quality, 256 kbps AAC (Advanced Audio Coding) encoding.
https://support.apple.com/guide/music/intro-to-the-itunes-store-mus3e2346c2/mac
Same with Apple Music.
Edit: this is slightly misleading. When I used "Apple Music" in this sense, it included the "iTunes Store", which most people do not realize is a separate store where you can buy individual songs or albums. Both Apple Music and iTunes Store purchases show up in the same iTunes library.
Good for you for staying out of contact. It's not surprising you still feel guilty or have conflicting emotions about it even this long after, even though this is 100% not your fault. You are the victim of abuse. You may want to talk to a therapist about it.
Bone conduction headphones?
Are there single-use frisbees?
This is a significant fraction of my music collection.