cosecantphi

I started working at this place as a cashier just a couple weeks ago and then of fucking course this happens. Last Tuesday as I was leaving work my boss told me he'd call me tomorrow with the coming week's schedule. He didn't, but the online scheduling app was updated the next day with all my shifts for the next two weeks.

So I figured that was just signifying the end of my training or whatever and that they'd finally slotted me into the schedule. But today when I looked at the schedule again I saw all of my hours were gone.

I called this morning to find out what the fuck was going on and my boss told me he thought I had quit because I didn't show up to one unscheduled shift he called me in for last Thursday morning. I must've missed his calls that day, he says he left two voicemails but my phone must've eaten them because I didn't see those either.

I was profusely apologetic over the phone, but he told me that he'd already hired two new employees. He didn't outright fire me, he said I'd be "on call" from now on, but this is a shitty seasonal job, I don't have high hopes I will be hearing back.

This is fucking bullshit. I had to buy the fucking uniform myself. Now I'm back at square one, and I have not the slightest inkling how the hell I'm supposed to go the rest of my life continuously subjecting myself to the dehumanization and humiliation of job searching all to work minimum wage for asshole small business tyrants like this guy and my previous employer.

The cherry on top is that once again I'm pretty sure I didn't work long enough to qualify for unemployment payments, same thing happened at my last job where I was laid off via ghosting. I can never quite say it enough, but fuck this piece of shit country.

-They can't tattle on you to a mod when you tell them to go fuck themselves (as long as you spell it f*ck so youtube doesn't just shadow delete the comment as soon as you post it).

-The youtube comment downvote button is not connected to anything, it's literally a placebo. So other chuds can't join in to anonymously downvote your comment into oblivion, killing engagement.

-They can't even dogpile you because of the confusing clusterfuck of however youtube comment threads work.

So you get a level of access to a random chud or lib that is impossible on any large reddit thread, and that gives you a chance to push their buttons to the point they take their mask off and lay at you. Then when you've had your fun, you bring the conversation back to where it started and inevitably your chud ends up looking rabid and deranged to any bystanders.

Unfortunately there probably are no bystanders because no one wades through 100s of comment replies on youtube. In fact, it at times feels designed specifically to prevent people from having coherent discussions because there is no way to view the most recent replies other than scrolling and clicking "show more replies" every 10 or so comments, so I guess I answered my own question, but it is fun to let off some steam at a chud without the internet hall monitors shadow banning you.

Unironically love this. The addition of Pumpkin Hill completely changes the subtext from "wow Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton were so cool being the ones to decide unilaterally on this country's future, I hope to be like them one day" to "wow, this is fucking horrifying that the foundations of our country were decided unilaterally and totally off the historical record by these shitheads"

The terrorists are entirely justified in their violent resistance against the obviously evil and genocidal Britannian empire, which is something of a stand in for both the British Empire and the US.

The annoying liberal deuteragonist bumbles around for 2/3 of the show being a supersoldier for the Britannian Empire while constantly making these bizarre self righteous arguments that Lelouch's rebellion is just too darn mean and violent, we have to support the Britannian Empire's rule of law just a while longer guys! The longer this goes on, the more and more his world view crumbles around him as basically nothing goes to plan for this liberal who is just incapable of grappling with material reality. He ends up following his sense of liberal morality all the way to accidentally killing millions with a Britannian wunderwaffe nuke. This leads him on his jokerification arc wherein he realizes the error of his ways and actually supports Lelouch through the batshit last few episodes of this show.

Anyway, I can't recommend this show to anyone in year of our lord 2024 because it's obnoxiously, embarrassingly horny in a very mid 2000s anime way, because that's exactly what it is. But I'm imagining what could have been.

HBO tried to make the line go up by cutting two episodes off the second season in the midst of the writer's strike. Like no exaggeration, the season 2 finale ends in a way that makes it immediately obvious two more episodes were supposed to exist. They were simply truncated along with the all the payoff for many of this season's character arcs and plot lines.

One of the writers even made a statement that an eight episode season wasn't their decision. Unfortunately the news of that must have hit them too late in production to fully accommodate that in the writing.

Except on all the subreddits for this show, the prevailing opinion amongst dipshit redditors is that the writers are cutting book events to make time for LGBTQ asoiaf fanfiction.

While that'd be based if true, it's not. Like wtf? Do these people live in a different universe? Are they watching a different dragon show? Redditors ain't alright, man. These people watch the enshittification of media in real time, and their lack of media literacy results in them going on queerphobic witch hunts and throwing wild assignment of blame at anything but HBO and capitalism.

The reason I ask is because I'm autistic, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 18 so I never received any kind of assistance growing up. And every time I've used an NMDA antagonist drug, I've experienced amazing relief from all of my sensory issues.

I've never tried Ketamine, but I have used DXM and Nitrous Oxide, both of which are also NMDA antagonists. It's like they partially sever the connection between the mind and the body. Nitrous Oxide isn't very useful for this because it only lasts a couple minutes before you need to redose, but even on lowish doses of DXM I feel totally unencumbered.

My sensory issues tend to take up a lot of cognitive load when I'm out in public and interacting with strangers, resulting in social anxiety. My whole life I've been too focused on the feeling of wanting to crawl out of my own skin too much to put any effort into being social, making friends, or having fun.

But on NMDA antagonists that all just goes away and I finally feel free and clear headed in a way I had never imagined possible. They literally just make me feel free to be me. Has anyone else here experienced something similar? Is there any existing research on this?

I've been catching up with season 2 and honestly it's not half bad. It has cut out the worst shitty (often gross and misogynistic in nature) excesses of the original show while still retaining most if not all of the great character writing and great dialogue that the first four seasons of GoT had.

There's all this great early GoT style political intrigue retained to it as well. All of these lords and ladies and queens and kings are just terrible, awful people for most of the runtime while we've been getting increasing focus on how badly the very concept of monarchy forces the dirty laundry of one inbred family with pet nukes to take shape and brutalize not only the slowly starving smallfolk of King's Landing, but also the smallfolk throughout most of the surrounding empire.

The Lords of the Seven Kingdoms all exist in this web of familial ties that ensures their ultimate class solidarity, eventually dragging most of the continent into dragon war the aftermath of which resembles that of atomic bombs. Now we find two desperate peasants given dragons because Queen in Exile Rhaenyra needs to find someone capable of vibing with Vermithor and Silverwing, the second and third largest war dragons in existence. She ends up burning to death dozens of claimed Targaryen bastards to do this by locking them all in the Dragonmont and letting the dragons sort the rest. She watches this happen with bored disinterest, in contrast to the horror on her face when her highborn Queensguard Steffon Darklyn dies in a previous attempt to claim the dragon Seasmoke.

[Brief Spoilers for book events in this paragraph]

I took three years of Spanish and got an A every semester. Even when it was still fresh in my mind, I was nowhere near able to hold even a very simple conversation. And now just a few years later it's all totally gone from my brain.

My mother's native language is Spanish and she never taught me, which I resent her for. But I still find it incredible how shitty my public school education in Spanish was. We really should be teaching kids a second language from kindergarten up.

I swear to god, my mental health, self esteem, and confidence are flying to heights not seen since I graduated high school. That may be a low bar to clear, but I cleared it! I still want to lose another 30 pounds to reach my goal weight, but already I no longer feel ashamed when I look at myself naked in the mirror.

She regularly uses cannabis vape pods.

I had no idea she would explode on me about this because I had already previously told her I was using cannabis, that I was paying for it, and that it greatly helped me with my social anxiety and depression. It also was greatly aiding me in my weight loss, and I'm currently the healthiest I've ever felt in my life. So yesterday I started making my edibles like it was no big deal because I thought the heart to heart I had with her about it patched things up. I legitimately thought she'd be happy for me. Well the moment she smelled it in the oven, she stormed into the kitchen, suddenly she threatened to kick me out, threatened to stop paying for all medical care I'm currently receiving, and when I didn't give in, she started begging my elderly father to intervene, nearly gave my dad a heart attack the way she reacted to me consuming this plant like it was bloody murder. I had been open about this with him for months and he doesn't have a problem with it.

I was making edibles with preground weed because it's so much cheaper to buy, I picked up a couple eighths for $10. Apparently though my mom had never heard of the concept of baking weed in the oven to decarb it, and started screaming at me like I was insane. I'm thinking she thought that maybe smelling it might mean she's also smoking it, that's my speculation on why she reacted like this, anyway. I currently don't use any other drugs on a daily basis not prescribed to me by a doctor. Though seven years ago I had a problem with opiates that I've since solved with Buprenorphine maintenance, for context. Once I realized this might be about the smell I turned off the oven and put away the foil pouch of weed, but that wasn't enough.

She gave my dad an ultimatum to kick me out or she'd be calling the cops. I refused to stop using weed, I told her I'll avoid using cannabis when she's home like I had been doing previously, but I would not be sacrificing my mental health at her arbitrary whim. My dad started having a panic attack, got in his car, and drove away. The cops arrived, explained this wasn't their responsibility, and they left. I am very glad my dogs and I are still alive. I have autism and thought this might be the end of me.

My dad returned a few hours later. It is now the next day and no one has breathed a word of this since my little brother returned from work.

I see this discussion come up a lot and it always results in arguments that I think maybe come about as a result of a lack of agreed upon definitions for certain terms, so I'll start there. Here are some definitions that make sense to me surrounding the hard problem of consciousness, would love to hear if anyone else has had the same thoughts:

Subjective experience:
Essentially the range of qualia that I can say exists because I experience them. It's the information you receive from your senses that is not quantifiable. For example, a description of the color red, no matter how detailed and scientifically accurate, will ever allow a person who has never experienced sight to understand what the color red looks like.

The mind and body:
The physical apparatus through which animals like us interact with the world. From the body we receive the necessary sensory information and nourishment to exert our will on the world. With the mind we interpret all sensory information gathered from the world.

Vast neural networks read, interpret, alter and conduct data received from the body's various sensory organs. Our brains begin this process with inherited patterns of basic cognition. Certain neural pathways calcify from repeated activity, forming memories: a catalogue of previous experiences we attribute importance to. Memories, guided by our upbringing, form a scaffold with which personality forms around, totally unique to the circumstances of any individual. But at no point in this fundamentally material process do we see the necessity for qualia, subjective experience. Theoretically, would a fully accurate computer simulated brain not also experience qualia if we know for a fact that we do?

The ongoing process described above is how most people would describe consciousness. We find that messing with certain parts of the brain can interrupt consciousness, and therefore memory formation, but how can we be sure that some fundamental sensation never ends, totally divorced from the body and mind?

People who get too drunk may not remember it later, but they were certainly conscious at the time. If there exists some feeling before conception and after death, no one can know because the dead can't speak and the living don't remember it.