That's the thing, though. I don't need to get lost in the nuance and come out of the other side as a 'realist' or a cynic. The cold calculation of incalculation.. the idea that because we are not perfect judges, we should not judge at all, is sinister enough that it even has a meme: Letting perfect be the enemy of good.
When I do selfless acts - and I believe I have, if my act is seen as an act to my own benefit or with ulterior motive: I feel harmed and wish to withdraw. Why would I reason to live with the burden of seeing the world as so purely black and white that the only good that can come from it is beyond my recognition; because I too must be black and white or risk being an imperfect judge?
I'm not going to tell someone that their willingness to donate a kidney is anything less than altruistic just because there's 'emotional baggage' or they don't self ascribe properly.. I'm simply willing to accept it as a good thing.
Just because the future is unknowable doesn't relieve me of the burden or responsibility of making active choices that I feel make a positive difference, even if I can't foresee the outcomes. Should the man that saved Hitler's life from a crowd of angry people feel responsible for everything that Hitler did after the fact? Can I now cynically use that thought to help no one at all, so that I don't run the risk of saving the next Hitler? Yet do these same cynics that claim humans only work in self interest not go on to complain that so many are passive bystanders to horrific events? It's self defeating. I'd rather not be a bystander, because I feel a sense of duty to not be an enabler.
Finally, I don't have a need to sanitize my discussions from all emotions. I don't think that's productive so long as the emotions are genuine and an honest reflection of my state of being.
A sincere thank you for your response. I hope my response is received as well as I intend.
Ah, my friend.. I wish I were so romantic as I've misled you to believe. Admittedly I'm only prone to fits of it. You are, of course, correct about the need to find a neutral ground that is less prone to bias and more fit for consumption. Lately, I've been struck by the need to feel my humanity and express it, wildly. I'm just making the mistake of believing that an honest presentation is enough to convince others that it's a worthwhile endeavor, meanwhile being reckless in the attempt. A 'rage against the dying of the light', if you will allow.
I'm generally more as you self describe. I feel it would almost be too daring to say 'a classical stoic', not this new age stigma ridden thin veneer over cynicism with an edgy 'I don't give a shit' attitude. So, apologies if you feel slightly offended at the suggestion we are alike in that way. As for depressing and boring; I don't think that at all. Having that mental space --detached and analytic-- offers great benefits in introspection, self realization, critical thought, and enables me to safely empathize when it makes sense to do so.
I would like to think that I value your discussion on these topics more than you yet realize. I had an excellent philosophy teacher.