You're not real, man!
It immediately called to mind Mr. Creedy from the movie version of V for Vendetta.
Wasn't there a poll where a majority of random men asserted that they could beat one of the Williams sisters at tennis?
Huh. My knees make rice krispie noises but pretty much only when I'm using stairs. No pain but maybe a little stiffness. I never knew what it was.
"Doesn't make headlines" would have been more accurate.
You're not real, man!