TheChemist

joined 4 years ago
[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

He had a unique surreal style that not many accomplished, in my opinion.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

I would NOT want to smell a player character that never changes their clothes/wears the same outfit all the time.

I can't imagine how awful a game with a post apocalyptic setting like Fallout would smell, especially since nobody bathes.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

Honestly, it has been weird for me but, I never wanted a fidget toy. If anything, I was always content with fidgeting with a Pen, such as by constantly disassembling and reassembling over and over again.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

I still say that, to me, it doesn't matter that this color palette was from the 90s. It is still a great color scheme.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago

Just wondering. Have there been serious studies about how likely a cop is to be a former Schoolyard Bully?

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

It took them 50 years to issue a proclamation, but no pardon, for Nicola and Bart, after mounting evidence, that neither of the two committed murder. Even then, the two were never pardoned. I highly doubt that the same kind of mercy would be extended to Ethel Rosenberg.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago

Imagine thinking a book series is the best just because it is popular.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

Although to be fair, I was a shy and introverted boy even before facing that pain of public humiliation. That was why I was very untalkative and had no friends growing up.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I feel that way everyday, as an Autistic Person. I will constantly be judged for not smiling enough, for speaking stoically all the time, for being shy, for not "Being Positive Enough", for not giving in to NT Standards of "Positive Vibes Only" and for always being shy and diffident when speaking.

What I feel, I have called, exhaustion from not fitting in with Neurotypical standards, and standards of social conduct, from always talking confidently, giving a false smile no matter how much you feel the opposite of happy, and being forced to shake a hand no matter how much I despise nonconsensual physical contact (I can't count how many times my family members forced me to hug another just because "it is polite").

I have also been bullied by kids growing up, which gave me a permanently tainted view of children. I don't see children as innocent, I see them as always being potential bullies. Perhaps, what I could be feeling is very low self esteem, where I internalized people's judging and nitpicking about every little thing I do.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 5 points 5 months ago

I have been in your specific shoes for a bit now. That is, the realization that you are nobody's best friend. Yes you know you shouldn't be fretting about it, since you have other friends who care about you, but at the same time, there is that missing piece where, it hurts knowing that, in your circle of friends, none of them consider you a priority in terms of friendship, only one that is a secondary friend.

It hurts when your friends have little time for you when they are too busy with their best friends, or with a romantic partner, to spend time with a secondary friend like me.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

I did that in school sometimes.

[–] TheChemist@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

Imagine needing sex to live.

 

Regardless of what that community is about, a good amount of the members seem to be content with simply repeating existing talking points, making statements with nothing indicating say, maybes or showing another person's perspective. Is Reddit just full of Echochambers?

I admit, even a lot of supposedly leftist subreddits show barely anything more than black and white thinking, something that disturbs me, as a gray thinker. They seem to refuse to think of say, what would lead to someone to at first be a chud. In fact, a lot of those leftist subreddits show signs of being more liberals than leftists.

It makes me think: Am I closer to being a chud than a leftist, if I have gray thinking, which causes me to want to be informed as to why say, a non leftist would be annoyed with corporate run cultural wars? Am I wrong for being troubled by black and white thinking on supposedly leftist subreddits? Am I just projecting by thinking "I would not make so bold a statement."?

 

Because I noticed that, all I am able to really do is find a post about a vague topic that happens to align with my narrow range of interests. All I can think of doing is keep occasionally (Every 2 days) make a comment or two on a post that I like, provided I can make a good insight that nobody else has.

Is that it? Just making alright quality posts and comments until someone wants to be my friend?

So far, I have only really been able to make friends on Reddit or Discord, but not on here (only around 4 friends total between those two apps). How would one make or find a friend here on Hexbear?

 

Whether collected by The Brothers Grimm, written by Charles Perrault, Hans Christian Anderson or by other prolific writers or collected by others, which one is your favorite, and why? And it doesn't have to have been adapted by Disney.

I ask this because Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Anderson have been by Special Interest for a while now. My favorite is "The Snow Queen", because unlike most fairytales, it spins the damsel in distress scenario on its head, with the way the heroine saves her boy best friend from the titular snow queen, and along the way meets several different interesting characters. It could make for a great 9 episode miniseries on HBO or something.

So what is your favorite fairytale or fairytale character?

 

And no, I don't mean, the supposed "Playful Bullying" (that will upset me too, same with being teased), or being even lightly prodded.

The other day, I was questioned on whether I "actually am a leftist", by a friend. After I nervously answered fairly basic questions such as believing in healthcare and collective labor, they weren't convinced. Ever since that day, I felt like I couldn't be a leftist, especially since I lost any confidence in my ability to be "better" according to that person's standards. If I couldn't satisfy their standards that one time, what would be the point of trying to read theory and trying again? Yes I admit, I haven't tried to read theory. I have no confidence that I would do it correctly.

So, I was already completely lacking in confidence in actually being a good enough leftist. But after that incident where I was bullied and picked on, even for a few minutes... Something in me gave up trying to keep up with the people on this website. It also made me fear and lose confidence in trying, for fear that I would encounter other "Secret Tests of Character" like that.

I feel as though in terms of personality, I am too quiet, too shy, and I have too little to say or contribute anyways, to feel at home here. It feels as though speaking the loudest and having lots to say is what matters the most here, and that is something I cannot do.

So, given that everyone insists "read theory", which I haven't been able to, does this mean I am not at the standards I seem to see here?

 

As an Autistic Man, it is really irritating that, people, as though they are a Neurotypical person that expects me to easily "get" unspoken social rules, and easily understand things without needing background information, it seems as though I am for some reason expected to not only automatically understand what people talk about when they say those phrases, but also even if I do want to look them up, I am scared of doing it wrong, because growing up, my mom forbade me from socially interacting with people, which caused me to become socially awkward.... which made her not want me to talk to people for "Fear of embarrassing her", leading to a vicious cycle that caused me to never have any friends until last year.

So thus, even to this day, I am completely unfamiliar with what it means to Support a Local Community, to Go and Organize, to Read Theory.... unless those are all phrases that were made so memetically popular, that people forgot about their original meaning, and people repeat them in order to make themselves LOOK intelligent rather than actually say anything intelligent.

The end result? I have no clue whatsoever how to socialize with people, or to attend public events, how to know when they are happening, how to find them, I don't know what the first steps are with socializing.... all thanks to my mother, who failed to teach me social skills, and failed to teach me the confidence in helping myself.

So how do I accomplish the commonly thrown around phrases I just mentioned?

 

As of now, I just got kicked out of another Discord community just because I was "Too Depressing" for them. Namely, that I often questioned how to make friends, and how to tell when someone is being nice to me, and casually expressed that, I had bad times identifying social cues due to a combination of Autism and a mother that failed to teach me social skills growing up.

I knew, well, people that were mostly acquaintances looking back, for about 2 years. I was barely close to them at all, since even though they were all neurodivergent, that was the only thing I had in common with them.

Unlike them, I wasn't a fan of Genshin Impact (In fact I HATED the game, especially since it was the cause of another online friend abandoning me in the beginning of this year), I wasn't a loud person, I wasn't extroverted. In fact, looking back, it felt more like I was tolerated by them rather than warmly embraced by them. And also, they weren't exactly respecting of my Asexual orientation, the way that, they disregarded how uncomfortable I got whenever they liked to gush over characters and people they really liked and wanted to kiss. They always talked over me.

In fact, I never actually felt like I ever bonded with them, only tolerated them in turn, even after they would always talk over me whenever I wanted to talk in Voice Chat. In the past, they were seemingly okay with me expressing that I had problems with understanding what activities were like, such as the dating scene. But it seemed as though, my last straw for them, was asking why they want to kiss their friends on the lips, and me expressing that I couldn't accept affection easily, due to my parents ruining affection for me. Apparently, I can never tell when what I say affects people, due to my Autism. They apparently expected me to easily shut up and not let what goes in my head bother people.

Apparently, that was the last straw for them, so about 30 minutes ago, I got banned from that Discord Channel. So it seems that, to update my list, I must hide the following parts of myself: My Depression, my lack of common interests with anyone, my lack of art talent, my quietness and shyness and my Asexuality.

I am close to giving up on finding friends, and accepting my likely feeling fate of living a lonely adult life without any friends or without anyone to talk to. I can't find a single person that shares a love of Fairytales, 7 Days To Die and The Fallout Series, and who won't kick me out of their life just because I suffer from Clinical Depression, and I am unable to come up with Extrovert level Small talk.

 

I have almost 3,400 hours on the game, and I have heavily modded it, and yet I have only completed the game once. Never once, have I thought of supporting The Legion at all, and it was the game that helped me realize I am Asexual, since I never felt the need to pick any of the perks that add attraction to the opposite or same sex (I wish there was an Asexual equivalent where instead of 10% Damage against all humans, you take 10% less damage from those same people).

My most recent memory is one time, I was fighting a Radscorpion, when a Mole Rat appeared and helped me against it, due to me having the Animal Friend perk. The Mole Rat thankfully lived, and I wish the Animal Friend Perk gave me dialogue options to pet animals.

Overall, given the game has themes of Anti Capitalism, the benefits of Mutual Aid and Positives of Anarchism, as well as being anti Slavery and the game encouraging you to dislike The Legion, as well as having well written LGBTQIA+ Characters, I would highly recommend the game.

 

So, I have friends that, in this capitalist world, they are forced to often be very busy and have little time to socialize with me. Although sometimes, I wonder if it's because they secretly hate me. But yet, at the same time, when they do message back, they always apologize to me for not messaging back, and they never have anything bad to say about me.

Often, I fear that, every time someone says they don't hate me, they are actually lying. I for one, can't see why they are so fond of me, and I can't think of any positive things to say about myself. I am boring. I am going into accounting, and I have Autism. My special interest is in Fairy Tale Retellings and making them better than that of Disney.

My friends never seem to have a bad thing to say about me, and yet, they are so busy that, if they do have a lover, or other friends, I am often seeming to be on the backburner, or at least that's what it feels like.

So thus, I am forced to go often weeks without talking to another human being, where I am too shy to make any kind of conversation with anyone. I often spend my days talking to myself, having theoretical conversations with myself and my several imaginary friends. To pretend that someone would be fond of me, unless my online friends actually are fond of myself.

Either way, the gist of is... is that I seem to be suffering from the void of capitalism, it's uncaring, heartless nature, and that it seems to be consuming the free time of my online friends.

So what do you think? Could they secretly hate me, or is my mind starting to finally crack from being lonely, friendless and loveless my entire life (I am 24 and had no friends until last year)?

 

For most communities, especially some of the smaller ones, have posts that are only as recent as 2 months ago at best. I noticed that there is frequent activity on The big communities such as "chapotraphouse", "chat" and "news"... but that same frequency of activity isn't replicated on most of the other communities.

For communities like "movies and tv shows", it feels like visiting a ghost town.

Is activity for people here mostly off this site and elsewhere? Did I not get an invitation or something? It feels like, with regards to activities such as playing games or watching a movie, I see no signs of people on this site doing anything.

So why are most communities lacking in activity?

 

I am an Asexual, Heteroromantic Cisgender Man, I am 24, and I am studying to be an accountant.

My interests consist of Fairytale retellings, talking about the negative effects of Toxic Positivity, having imaginary conversations with myself and talking to imaginary people that care about me, playing Fallout and Minecraft and 7 Days To Die. I am also a fan of Star Wars. And Tomboys.

Today, I got a 3 day temporary ban on Reddit, on a bullcrap "Glorifying Violence" Charge, when all I did was point out how beneficial it was for the people of The Soviet Union when the Capitalists were killed off in Russia. (There goes my 153 day streak for Reddit)

Now, I realize, without my Reddit account, I have nothing to myself. No friends, at least none that I am able to regularly talk to due to them being busy, but does that count as friends? And yeah, I just realized just how lonely and miserable I truly am. I have been at university for about 3 years now, and I have not made a single friend, because all the people there are too-optimistic-for-their-own-good capitalists, who think that they can make their own small business within 2 years of graduation. And they are Liberals or Republicans.

So, given my narrow set of interests, partially due to having Aspergers, where would be a good place for me. Again, I am not a fan of doing anything unplanned, or something without even a second of thought before acting.

I am a pretty boring person otherwise.

 

Because I subscribed to the Asexual Community on this site, and it said "Subscribe Pending" after I clicked the subscribe button.

 

Because well, I am Asexual, and well.... it is incredibly rare to find another Asexual person anywhere. Not to shame people for their interests, but I am not comfortable with a lot of posts, even if they are meant to be for a joke, implying that everyone gets horny, and/or that apparent "Peak Hedonism" or whatever it's called, is about having lots of sex. Again, something I am not interested in.

I have seen no signs of any Asexual friendly spaces on this site, not even in the LGBTQIA+ Subcommunity for this site. Although I have been socially isolated by otherwise queer friendly spaces before, for "only" being Asexual.

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