I'm not overly religious, but I do believe in a god. I don't go to church much, but I often think about going. Once I have more time I might start going regularly.
PopPrincess
joined 2 years ago
Ayoo anyone got any good resources on developing a personality again? Dysphoria, depression and anxiety kind of made me apathetic for along time lol, so I do want to fix that✋😩
spoiler
I don't have much to say, but I really relate to what you are saying. I don't particularly like being trans at all and if I had been given the choice I would never choose to be trans.
I think as you get further in transition being trans can stop being a defining part of you. I definitely think less about it and it's something I never ever bring up IRL, also limiting trans-related content lessened my dysphoria.
thoughts CW: unhappy musings about being trans
Idk it feels kind of dismissive to state that being trans is amazing, I feel like trans people shouldn't be obligated to like being trans. Sure many people find happiness in being trans, but there are many of us who don't. Personally, my life would be a million times better had I just been born a cis girl. Being trans has mostly brought me debilitating dysphoria, restriced me in so many ways and taken so much from me that I'll never have the chance to experience.
That sounds awful, 45 hours a week is already quite a lot, I hope you find a good solution.
I see that you moved to the US, which is my plan too (depending on how the coming years play out, but weather is honestly a big factor for me too😅), so I'd also need to stick it out for the visa.
This is also my general approach when working. My part-time jobs I've had while studying so far I put in a very low effort😅, but at least for part of my training I won't be able to put in low effort and if I want to achieve this goal I'll have to keep up my current grind.
That sounds like a decent boss. Generally in my country work-life-balance is very appreciated and emphasized, but the field I'm going into is known for workaholism. I have a friend whose parents are doctors and they work literally all the time😅
I definitely agree. I think I tend to overfill my schedule as then I won't have any time left to ruminate about the bad parts of my life, and I like being busy as I'm way more productive that way. I generally could see myself happy with a standard cliche family life with a husband and kids, but I don't know if that will ever be achievable for me considering my circumstances sadly.
That's how it is for me too currently. I've let my studies and work basically swallow up all of my time😅 In a way I prefer it as then I don't have time to ruminate or be sad about the things I don't like about my life😅
I'm still in my early 20s, but with my current goal/idea in mind I'd be spending most of my 20s and 30s grinding to reach it. My current lifestyle ain't great as I'm a student, so it would only be worse in regards to hours worked per week.
I definitely fear this. I'm probably pushing 60+ hours right now between studying, work, extracurriculars, etc.😵💫
How did you know you were burned out, or approaching burnout?
But is assimilator necessarily a negative thing? Like my goal is basically to assimilate/go stealth, but I'm not going to lambast other trans people for not doing the same.