MRPP

Almost anything by Ray Porter is incredibly well read and well produced. NOS4A2 read by Kate Mulgrew is solid.

Is there something that those methods don't accomplish, that you wish they did? I haven't needed a high level npc yet, but I know that it's in my future, and I was just planning on manually setting levels and abilities.

Hell, I think I'd just scrape the idea of making a full levelled npc, and instead making a statblock with values in the ballpark, and making attacks and abilities that I think the NPC should have.

For example, instead of a full spell list, what is something a wizard should do, to feel wizardly? Fly? Yes! Throw fireballs? Oh yes! Maybe transform someone to a toad? Maybe yes. So they turn into a 20hp flying fireball slingshot that every now and then tries a polymorph.

Extra cool that OSR is on here. I've been hoping for an alternative to pop up. OSR has been a wonderous gift for my ttrpg enthusiasm, and adapting to looser rulesets, a wider perspective on "balance" and embracing random tables for on-the-fly ideas has made running games a lot more interesting and less stressful.

I really want to get Systen Shock remake, and maybe even the Final Fantasy* arpg, stranger something something.

I also ran across these two indies, Fear and Hunger 1&2 that look very interesting and are very affordable.

An absolute wannabe authoritarian brute. The institution pushing back against outrage could (and probably already has) lead to a massive Streisand effect.

Pitkä viikko Pride-hommissa, ja sunnuntaina keskiaikamarkkinat turussa. Parhautta!

They have other resources too, about gender identity, finding yourself and finding a community. Do you have an idea on what would make you feel good? If everything were possible, what would you wish to change in your day-to-day life, so that it would feel more comfortable, more like you?

Speaking to different people about how they went through similar life situations could help you maybe find a way for you to explore yourself. Maybe there are safe spaces near where you live, that you could pop in to and talk with some people? Like a LGBTQ-friendly community night or something? Or maybe even using lemmy spaces, reddit or other online spaces to find people who could talk with you about their own processes?

I'm cishet, so my experience will be different, but if it'll help, I can share it.

I guess take it slowly and explore how self expression makes you feel? There might be a newfound euphoria in trying all the things at the same time, but I'm worried that this might lead to unsafe things, or maybe unsafe people.

Finding yourself is a marathon that can take a whole lifetimes worh of experiences, so take your time. I would suggest finding stuff to read, watch and listen to, that will give you more context to your experiences, maybe even new people to talk to?

I can try to dig up more resources, but I'll starg with a local one: https://en.seta.fi/lgbti-rights-in-finland-seta/materials/ Seta is a Finnish ngo that works with LGBTQ members of society, providing support, resources and aims to further their position through political influence.

After reading what you've written, I want to agree with "you are cis and have aesthetic choices"? I mean that you can identify as masculine, but it's fine to prefer they/them on certain days and like nail polish and bracelets. Masculity shouldn't be thought of as being forced to be a certain way or act a certain way to qualify. Sure, some things are more associated wih masculinity, but in the end, you decide how you express yourself, and no-one else. Gender expression should be open to individual choice, same as how you define your gender identity.

I remember hearing The Watchtower from them ages ago and instantly falling in Love. Then came Salvation and I was hooked, probably for life. What a juggernaut of a band.

Thank you, that's a great list of good stuff. I haven't seen night of the Demons in Ages, popping that beast into a playee asap!

This sounds a little like Justine my De Sade. A bleak tale about ever escalating horrible events.