Ok thanks for sharing that makes things make a bit more sense. So like auto is a big industry in like Germany, maybe Italy? and Amerika, Klanada. For like the UK though, was it the bourgeois had financial interests in auto succeeding and then also oil doing well? It just seems weird that some people in the UK now drive pickup trucks when they don't even have the carbrained infrastructure that a place like Amerika has.
IzyaKatzmann
joined 2 years ago
Hi, I was writing an email to The New Inquiry to ask a question about submitting a piece. I read this piece (linked somewhere on hexbear...) and really liked it and sorta skimmed through other stuff.
I'm trying to say that, while I was writing the email I misgendered the author while mentioning what I liked about his piece. I only thought to double check because I remembered what you (and other commenters) said with your comments. It's a real bad habit, and a hurtful one. I think I may have it under control, if not now, then soon.
If you wanted an 'explanation', I'll put it below in spoilers. I am not writing it to not accept responsibility and be liable for what I did, just, to like correct others like me maybe.
why i keep using 'they' by default
I don't actually interact with people. I have a partner, and pets. I am usually talking in my head about groups of people or abstract representations of people, not actual people. That still doesn't make misgendering appropriate obviously.
I also did my best to use it because I wanted it to sound natural which I think I could do only if I used it and it became like other pronouns and words I use that I don't think about.
I had a teacher in high school who was pretty cool. One time when reading a handout, she said, every time there was a 'he' (the thing we read was really unnecessarily gendered) she would say 'he or she'.
I thought it was kinda clunky and it sounded off. I thought, "I've seen people say 'he/she', why does she need to say 'or'? She already said it a few times, I feel like she could use 'he/she' and it would still get the message across and it's like less sounds so it's more efficient! (remember, I was in high school and I am a cishet man; I thought saying things as quickly as possible was better) Or why doesn't she use 'she'? That would be better too. Oh, why not just use they?"
Eventually I started using they, I didn't want to have to deal with using the wrong pronouns and figured I would get corrected (I didn't think I could ask the person for their pronouns or name, and refer in a way which doesn't use pronouns to be sure I don't use the wrong one) by the person. I just didn't want trouble, I don't mean like not for me, I didn't want to bother anyone for something I could change I think pretty easily (over like some period of time). Of course that was self-centered, and you can kinda notice I really just write my thoughts and don't always think before.
Eventually I started to use other words to be comfortable with changing the word I use in reference to a person or persons: 'one', 'person', 'folk', 'persons', 'people', 'peoples', 'individual' (<- my fav probably), 'individuals', 'group', 'party', 'agent', 'actor', 'such-and-such', 'human', 'humanity', 'humans' (don't like peoplekind cuz a politician used it, obv I'd use it if others wished or asked), 'ones', and I think that's nearly all of them. I feel like there is one or two more but I can't really remember.
You might say these aren't pronouns and not what people want, and that's completely true. And I think that's why I keep messing up. I basically did something without someone (<- this was one I forgot!!) or some people asking, 'for them' when really I could only be sure that it was for me.
Thanks for coming to my ted-talk.
Now I'm working on being much better with asking and not misgendering.
crud, I need to up my 
I've been missing out
first i'm hearing of it :/
Hey question, for it to be white-on-white racism, would you say there needs to be like some threshold of harm/hurt done? I'm thinking like a person thinking it's dumb and moving on probably wasn't what you were referring to.
I don't want any comrades to self-harm, yes, even if they are white
Dang the alienating bit was rough, you hit a friendly on the way
What happens if people who are white 'reclaim' 
??
Do we still use it or switch to like, using 
more? It doesn't really have the same ring to it.
When I see it on hexbear or like friends (I have a white friend dw; ok had and that's cuz I moved) I does not bother me, sometimes it comes out of the blue I think, but maybe that's me not paying attention.
I'm at an institution which is quite progressive (groups speak out against Isr--l killing Gazans (and uh, other people from Isr--l) and whenever profs or some upper year well-known students, academics or scholars do it, even the ones that are kinda based, I cringe hard and it's difficult to believe it's genuine and not finding another way to put the spotlight on themselves...
It's living rent free in me head