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On “Male Socialization” and the “Trans Masc Versus Trans Fem” Discourse™
(juliaserano.medium.com)
this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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Why would you write out that entire wall of text about half a sentence that has zero relevance to the actual substance of the article and then not even tell us the tiniest bit with how she's supposedly wrong about Skinner when you're in the middle of reading one of his works?
btw Julia Serrano's pronouns are she / her, would've taken you like 10 seconds of googling. That's besides the point here, but consistently misgendering her over and over again on top of all this weird beating around the bush that you do, all this complaining about "most disenfranchised folks" and our "pseudoscientific dismissal" of ancient and methodically dubious pre-replication crisis psychology, that realy rubs me the wrong way when you can't even be bothered to get your actual point across. If you're such a fucking brain genius, you should be able to come up with a more substantive criticism than "her arguments are flat out awful", at least she even has an argument to begin with, which i can't say about anything of the vagueposting word salad you've written.
Hi, I was writing an email to The New Inquiry to ask a question about submitting a piece. I read this piece (linked somewhere on hexbear...) and really liked it and sorta skimmed through other stuff.
I'm trying to say that, while I was writing the email I misgendered the author while mentioning what I liked about his piece. I only thought to double check because I remembered what you (and other commenters) said with your comments. It's a real bad habit, and a hurtful one. I think I may have it under control, if not now, then soon.
If you wanted an 'explanation', I'll put it below in spoilers. I am not writing it to not accept responsibility and be liable for what I did, just, to like correct others like me maybe.
why i keep using 'they' by default
I don't actually interact with people. I have a partner, and pets. I am usually talking in my head about groups of people or abstract representations of people, not actual people. That still doesn't make misgendering appropriate obviously.I also did my best to use it because I wanted it to sound natural which I think I could do only if I used it and it became like other pronouns and words I use that I don't think about.
I had a teacher in high school who was pretty cool. One time when reading a handout, she said, every time there was a 'he' (the thing we read was really unnecessarily gendered) she would say 'he or she'.
I thought it was kinda clunky and it sounded off. I thought, "I've seen people say 'he/she', why does she need to say 'or'? She already said it a few times, I feel like she could use 'he/she' and it would still get the message across and it's like less sounds so it's more efficient! (remember, I was in high school and I am a cishet man; I thought saying things as quickly as possible was better) Or why doesn't she use 'she'? That would be better too. Oh, why not just use they?"
Eventually I started using they, I didn't want to have to deal with using the wrong pronouns and figured I would get corrected (I didn't think I could ask the person for their pronouns or name, and refer in a way which doesn't use pronouns to be sure I don't use the wrong one) by the person. I just didn't want trouble, I don't mean like not for me, I didn't want to bother anyone for something I could change I think pretty easily (over like some period of time). Of course that was self-centered, and you can kinda notice I really just write my thoughts and don't always think before.
Eventually I started to use other words to be comfortable with changing the word I use in reference to a person or persons: 'one', 'person', 'folk', 'persons', 'people', 'peoples', 'individual' (<- my fav probably), 'individuals', 'group', 'party', 'agent', 'actor', 'such-and-such', 'human', 'humanity', 'humans' (don't like peoplekind cuz a politician used it, obv I'd use it if others wished or asked), 'ones', and I think that's nearly all of them. I feel like there is one or two more but I can't really remember.
You might say these aren't pronouns and not what people want, and that's completely true. And I think that's why I keep messing up. I basically did something without someone (<- this was one I forgot!!) or some people asking, 'for them' when really I could only be sure that it was for me.
Thanks for coming to my ted-talk.
Now I'm working on being much better with asking and not misgendering.