GarfieldOfficial

Awesome work getting an assessment. I was affirmatively assessed last year, have been going through focused counseling on what that actually means, and after a year I’ve almost fully controlled my biggest stress tics of nail chewing, and pulling out hair (eyebrows specifically lol). My nail chewing was very bad to the point of basically having open wounds constantly. What’s been working for me is a number of things.

1. In counseling, acknowledging that it’s a harmful behavior and understanding why- for me that was hearing that it’s an easy way to get infections and to spread germs into your mouth. I’ve chewed my nails my whole life and recall as an undiagnosed child only ever hearing it framed as if it were some sort of moral failing of willpower. If it were explained logically that it’s a behavior that, although temporarily soothing, can actively hurt you and therefore is something to avoid, I would have been able to internalize that over time, rather than the shame surrounding it.

2. Looking at it from the lens of the root causes. Hand to mouth is a big stress relief for me- that includes smoking, vaping, drinking, nail chewing etc. Stepping back and recognizing that was an important common thread. This was where, when under duress, I start acknowledging those impulses (because I’m a huge dork literally saying “I recognize that you’re an impulse and you have no control over me” either in my head or out loud if I’m alone lol) and in turn taking away the “mindless” portion of the behavior.

3. Now to your actual question of stims! Sometimes it’s not enough, when the background brain-screaming is particularly draining, I need something to do with my hands. a. Travel nail kit. Unfortunately growing up as a poor, undiagnosed, cishet male in the us i was not ever taught about the importance of keeping your nails healthy. Fortunately it’s relatively inexpensive to get a pack of emery boards, fingernail trimmers, etc. I keep them at all of my work areas in addition to the bathroom. Having hang nails or irregular portions of my nail was something that would nag me, until I chewed it off, but all this was doing was continuing the cycle. By trimming and filing my nails such that I don’t notice them, I literally simply forget about something that was a major tic for decades. b. Pick pads and putty. I bought a silicone pick pad on Etsy where you pick out beads from silicone, then you can melt the silicone pour it on the beads and do it again. Loved the picking, loved the beads, not a chance in hell I’m gonna have the mental availability to remelt the silicone lol so it gathers dust. But I dumped the beads into my favorite stim- silly putty! There are brands that come with things in them, but I found that getting cheap putty and putting fun beads (or dry rice) in it is my favorite. You can pick the beads out, squish it like a stress ball, throw it, etc. For me this was the winner. c. My partner busted me for smoking, and on top of being a bit pissed, she got me one of these: ( https://pranavida.co/en-ch/products/the-breath-vessel ). It’s nice! I can do the soothing hand to mouth movement of smoking, but redirected into a breath control practice instead. It works like a charm for snapping me out of stress fixation. d. I’ve also tried: various grip trainers (my favorite is a silicone rubber ring). Stress balls (I tend to get too stressed and destroy these). Kneaded erasers. Silent-clicking pens. Bitter nail polish ( don’t). Beaded bracelets (I REALLY like these, but I have massive hands and the stretch cord always breaks :/ ). I’ve also had good luck with 3d printed fidget rings (but again fidget too hard and break them). A “Simpl Dimpl” key chain. “Worry” stones

TLDR- My key experiences are:

• exploring the “why” behind the behavior, understanding the impulse, acknowledging the impulse is normal but doesn’t need to be acted upon or can be redirected
• General nail care. Over this past year I’ve grown nails for the first time in my memory. I enjoy the stimulation of cleaning, filing, and trimming and the feedback loop is that I literally forget they exist most of the time. Also cuticle oil feels incredible.
• Try different combinations of stim toys until you find what speaks to you. I’ve mentioned a number of typical options, but it can be literally anything to keeps you stimulated. Like I said, my favorite is putty with beads in it.

And FINALLY since you’re in the process of being assessed for things, I assume that means you’ve spent at least some part of life trying to painfully cram into the NT box. And while I’ve always felt a disconnect from the NT community, I’ve experienced nothing but compassion from ND folks on this site and irl. So bear in mind this is the start of a journey to better understand and love yourself, and know we’ve all got your and each others backs.

Awesome thanks!! My background is mostly in ecological systems so I’ve backed into some of material by chance. I tend to forget about the importance of secondary or tertiary for interacting with new topics- I usually assume I should dive into the primary source at its origin and then wonder why I’m confused lol. Like I fell out of a dang ol’ coconut tree.

Hell yeah. Love the insight! Definitely the risk of exploring things on one’s own is missing out on the context from others who have studied and interpreted works. Very happy to have this community

“If you don’t show up, you may as well start looking for a new job!”

Me who started planning my departure as soon as I arrived

As someone who watched the movie as a kid fortunately all I can remember is that a Barred Owl was a Bard in it. As a certified bird nerd I loved that and no one cared lol.

OH! and one tip I’ve picked up for temp control (at least for my skill level) is that a multi-flame torch is more likely to scorch the shit out of it, but a single-flame torch, while much slower, allows for full extraction over multiple smaller rips. And if smell is an issue, I've found that slow, single-flame method to be more discreet.

Yes!!! That’s my go-to. I got the silicone one recently and it’s amazing- very easy to clean, and works great with a bong. I’m doing sobriety for a bit- but have been really interested in getting an induction wand to use with it instead of using a torch. I’ve had decent luck using it for keef too- sandwiched with dry herb it doesn’t get sucked up too much. I used an xmax v2 for years, and battery operation has its perks (is a bit easier to session), but I really like the Dvap (aka dave-vapthews-band) for a quick hit and go. (Sorry about the DVB reference, it never gets a laugh irl either, but you’ve gotta try!)

Once you pop the fun don’t stop

https://xkcd.com/2489/

It seems like a weird fixation, but consider this is the map in your typical US classroom

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Thank you all for some awesome replies! Looking forward to reading through them and checking out your recommendations! A lot of this stems from recently learning about Ecological Ethics and starting to read some Bookchin essays before realizing ecological knowledge does not cover the same bases as “ecological ethics“ lol. NGL it’s exciting to find a thing so familiar but foreign to learn about! Will be undoubtedly talking more with you all :)

Stay warm out there! (Or stay cool if you’re somewhere warm!)

No offense, but you may not be familiar with the dismal state of employment in Amerikkka.

Yeah I’ve been on meds for ~ a year, and for the last few weeks I’ve been off them (change of insurance, holiday travel, etc.) and in retrospect I’m not 100% sure they’re the best for me- 15mg adderall xr- but I’ve only dealt with the meds for a short time now (have been undiagnosed my whole life and just white-knuckled through everything (don’t all people exert effort followed by depressive episodes from masking burnout??)) so it’s hard to know what is good? Like it helps with avoiding burnout and I stay locked into a task, but in general I feel noticeably more “on edge”, and my nicotine cravings skyrocket.