this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 years ago

I'm convinced this is going to be some sort of horror movie scenario where I walk into the voting place and play out the exact same events as 2020.

The same people say the same things to me, and I respond with familiar words. Déjà vu intensifies as I check my calendar. It is 2024, right? No, it's 2020. Wait, 2016?

My mind races.

"Vote for Biden to save America!" Libs on the left and right shout. I begin to run.

"Do you want Trump to win?" they jeer. I stumble, but regain my footing.

"Vote blue," I hear. "Vote blue, vote blue, VOTE BLUE!" It's a chant at this point. A cult-like choir that fills the recesses of my brain. I make it to the double doors and push them open.

Biden is there.

He smiles. "None of this Malarky, Jack," he says, pressing a syringe to my neck. My consciousness begins to fade. The last thing I feel is some teenage staffer sticking an "I Voted!" sticker to my shirt as the world fades to darkness.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ignore Tump? Democrats Now Want Him Plastered All Over the News.

Yes, a famously effective strategy to get people to not vote for someone

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

To their credit that was their exact strategy in 2016 and look how well that worked out for them.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 years ago

god, i hate that democrats and their stans insist i take this thing seriously when everyone actually in the party clearly doesn't

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 years ago

We could actually do something to earn votes, or we could just hope that the other guy is so completely awful that people will just ignore the fact that we have no policy other than "do genocide for oil" and vote for us anyway!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"we're offering you nothing and betting you'll find a way to like that"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

John Podesta: You know, Joe, as a campaign manager, I have advised... a certain candidate to explore a Pied Piper strategy, where their campaign popularizes a radical, dangerous opponent to force voters to choose their own candidate.

Biden: Well, did it work for that campaign?

Podesta: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

i still think it is absolutely wild that he and his brother look almost exactly like the e-fit rendering of the guy who kidnapped that madeline mccann girl

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Or they just don't show up at all? I'm looking forward to record low turnout

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Most likely outcome

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Well, it worked in 2020.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

This is only gonna work if there’s a difference between them