they already live in amerikkka, so jokes on them
this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Always being like I'm 52.423% irish and 19.625% Danish and 4.212% Westerosi and 23.74% Scottish and my clan name is MacBurger and here is my tartan
Motherfucker, you're a US citizen. I know it sucks but still
the history of my people began when the hair-covered people of the lowlands emerged from the stagnant, murky waters of the stink swamp and intermarried with the also hair-covered mud eaters of the ruined hills.
the year was 1978.
oh have you been to Yorkshire
not yet, but a visit to the metropole of the great pudding empire is inevitable.
It's got some nice bits. They coronated the emperor constantine there which is pretty cool if you are into history
We're up now and honestly this thread is disappointing. We deserve to be thoroughly dragged but mostly this is just everyone being chill.
What I'm saying is we Americans could do a mean thread better
Joke's on you. I have a severe mental illness that precludes sleep.
I'm not gonna stop you or anything though go nuts$ 
Americans will be like "I don't have an accent" and then say "Hi, my name is Gram, one day I looked in the mere and to my abject tear all I saw was the face of a skworl."
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americans? more like PISS
They drink piss they call beer so it checks out. 
Let's use photos
(yes, that Humvee broke down after about one minute during a deranged military americaney display at the beginning of a hockey match)
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65% of our taxes go towards our military and police and we can't afford healthcare, hahaha!
not true they can afford healthcare they just hate you and won't give it to you
You right. Correction: we don't have healthcare even though we are the wealthiest country on the planet.
It would be cheaper and easier to give you healthcare even. Fucking Calvin.
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I am a yank and am awake
I am deeply offended you did not invite me to the yank dunking session
I wish I were asleep 😞 can you ridicule me to sleep? You should hear the way I say "guys" all the time as a synonym for "things." I say "pop" instead of "soda."
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the absolute state of yankoids lmao
Hexbear just isn't the same as yankoids posting such cringe titles as 'Fighting against the tide of America-hate. Here is a thread about ONLY praising America!'
I had a bag of Lays potato chips once, shit sucks. How is the treat capital of the world so mid at making chips?
I don't even eat snacks that often. Red rock deli, Smiths, Samboy, Ajitas. I know they're probably owned by Pepsi by now so they're also American, but I'm 90% sure they started off Australian.
I always love how US franchises have to actually try to cook food when they open non-US branches because the natives don't want to eat that shit lol
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I'm American and I'm up late drinking and I'm here to say that the metric system fucking sucks
Is anyone here not an American dealing with shit that keeps them up at night?
Bro the metric system haunts me every night. I tell you what, first thing I do with a time machine is go back and kill baby Jean Baptiste Marie Joseph Metrique or whoever the fuck invented that godless decimal bullshit.
good luck building a time machine in stridelengths and cubitts
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yeah americans might be the most ignorant and annoying people on the internet, but consider this: if it weren't us, it'd be the scandinavians
I'm so disappointed by this thread, I can't believe hexbear would permit this. 70+ comments making fun of Americans?? And not a single comment to make fun of those perfidious diet Americans to the north? Those so-called Canadians too easily skate by in obscurity, happily applauding Nazis and sweeping their foundational genocides under the proverbial rug!
Good morning! Uhh lessee. We pronounce medal the same way as mettle. We put our garish flag literally everywhere (I was sleeping under one, as per the law). Like 20% of us vote though only 5 states matter, then we coronate our oldest politician anyway. Being born, dying, getting sick, or going to prison all cost money and servers make less than living wage so please tip us for your headless beer
'It ain't no disgrace to be poor, but might as well be.' It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on its wall asking this cruel question: 'If you're so smart, why ain't you rich? ' There will also be an American flag no larger than a child's hand-glued to a lollipop stick and, flying from the cash register."
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