The Monkey's Paw

You can, but it includes every animal and you can't turn it off.

You can hear the conversation of every animal constantly, including insects, rotifers, tardigrades, and any other creature in the animal kingdom. If they're living on or in you, then you can't even walk away.

Even worse, the animals don't magically get advanced processing abilities. So you can communicate with them, but they can't understand you any more than they could understand other communications (ex. From their own species). So enjoy the incessant babbling

They've been waiting to talk about their medical problems, and the language is incredibly graphic.

You can but animals just say the vilest, most awful shit. They have grown up without any form of shame or social norms.

Granted, but now every animal absolutely hates you and any animal that sees you starts insulting you until you leave.

Granted. You understand them and they understand you. You realise how absolutely miserable pets are.

Granted. Nothing happens, because you can already communicate with humans.

Granted.

But you'll be sent to a mental asylum the moment someone sees you, because only you can communicate with them, and everyone else thinks something is wrong with you.

You turn into a blind mole rat and become king of the human to animal translator.