this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Residents of Floxas notice no change.

[–] WeirdGoesPro 8 points 6 days ago

I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

I think it becomes the most populous state

[–] [email protected] 39 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won't be able to remember them otherwise

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

And put them all to a catchy jingle

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

You just gotta remember the mnemonic for them!

Many Wild Owls In Winter Never Make Unusual Noises, Always Calm and Focused

But that's just taught to us in class as little kids so I forget it's not second nature for the rest of the world!

[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 days ago (3 children)

One line would be enough: to divide North from South.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I think we tried that once.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

These welfare queen red states would turn into Somalia in short order. If I can't make it back to a blue state before the borders close I'm going to fucking kill myself.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Better to have a small Somalia2 than turn all the US into the Beautiful Somalia of Covfefe, don't you agree?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

bible belt and sane people

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Insular, gossipy, ugly, unintelligible, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

You need 4 lines. North East, South West, Wastelands.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago

Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago

I feel like idiota would be overcrowded

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago

Floxas made me lol

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Fuck that. The Northeast created this country and we're not gonna be erased.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 days ago (1 children)

you also created new jersey, take some fuckin responsibility for your sins

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Fine, New Jersey is taking its Unix and going home then

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (2 children)

oh shit.

well, bsd, er, linux-shit... uh.... TempleOS it is!

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

"Where you from?"

"Middle"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Utucky

No u.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago

I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn't make any difference to them and it'd be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: "The meeting is at 1500 EDT". "Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I'll be an hour late. Are you sure it's 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?" "Yes, definitely 1500 EDT". /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Alascanada?

Hawacuba?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

I especially like IDiOTA

Also

America's borders

USA borders.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

“America” is a shortened name for “United States of America,” in addition to the name of the continent. It can be both, you know.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (7 children)

Believe it or not, those two terms are used interchangably and somehow no one gets confused. A continent AND a country can both have the same name without the world ending.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

this unironically looks like how some colonies used ro be divvied up. fitting for a colonial empire.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.

(It smells like rotting skunk.)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Maintana most beautiful state

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

If Dr Suess was in charge of naming the states:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Now I want to see this cross referenced to a population map and overlay major cities and show us the population of each new state and what cities would be in each.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I'm not reincorporating.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

You have ascended to heaven. If you ever feel stressed, just remember that the people you left behind are still playing in the mud and catching exotic third world diseases.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Floxas gonna absolutely kill at college football

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

But the target of basically all the hurricanes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

It's not actually all that differently stupid.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

Which sports team am I supposed to root for with this map? Do you expect me to make a careful analysis of team history and current lineup? Or do I pick the one in the state I was born in like a normal person?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I feel for Louisiana getting lumped into Floxas, run by the mutant abomination AbbSantis.

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