A friendly place to chat.
No politics please. Don't be a dick.
The bottom line truth is that unless you really truly want to give up, you won't. Your friend is really the only one who knows if that's true for them or not.
Most smokers have times and places they associate with smoking - in the old days it was being in the pub. Also, after meals, when work ends, lunchbreaks etc. Those are the times to try and keep them distracted.
Hope you don’t mind me chiming in from the US… I’m approaching 2 years without smoking. I can’t really say if there was any one thing that helped me quit, but I had smoked about a pack a day for the last 20 years.
When I decided to quit (I’ve stopped for months at a time in the past, but never seriously) I made the decision that I wouldn’t smoke again and quit cold turkey. I kept the same routines though: having a beer with friends after work, going outside with them when they smoked, and going outside at work when my colleagues smoked. I enjoyed the smell of the secondhand smoke, but I enjoyed the socializing and camaraderie more and it didn’t really tempt me all that much. It was more about the commitment that I made in my head when I decided to quit smoking that kept me from lighting up. The cravings sucked at first, but it is somewhat like mourning a dead loved one. Always horrible, you’ll forever miss it, and eventually it sucks a little less.
I did miss smoking the most when travelling for work. There is a bit of a language barrier where I go most often, and I hadn’t realized how much I used smoking as a crutch when I needed to get away and feel comfortable. It still just came down to me not wanting to disappoint the inner me, however.
I don’t know if that makes sense, and I don’t know how to really explain it better. I hope something in that jumble of words helps though.
Chime away :)
It was more about the commitment that I made in my head when I decided to quit smoking that kept me from lighting up
That's the key - that commitment. Interesting that you found it OK to not change your habits to avoid smokers etc. I would've found that torture.
It’s different for everyone. I hang out at a coffeehouse and most of my friends there are smokers. If I didn’t see them for a month or two while I quit smoking, that would be torture.
Reduce smoking first. This diminishes the craving. Switch to nicotine vape, this breaks the association with the cigarette. Taper nicotine dose over time, further diminishing the craving. Switch to nicotine lozenges, this breaks the association with inhalation. Taper the dose to zero.
A big part of smoking addiction is the behaviours and habits. Desire to smoke is triggered by familiar settings where it is customary to smoke and it is those settings that one should avoid. You cannot go back to your old routines like drinking in the pub and expect it to be easy. You can find healthy alternatives like joining a sport club, where your increasing lung capacity will motivate you.
Don't do anything. Any reminder of smoking makes it harder to resist.
The cravings come in waves, so I guess the best thing you can do when you are around, if he seems to have the craving, is to try to distract him, maybe learn a few jokes you can fire off. Whatever distraction will work for a while.
Personally I quit by switching to vapes, and then after years of vaping, I decided to quit that too. Quitting vaping seemed easier, as I could decrease the nicotine, and continue to vape. Took me 3 months to quit.
I was a heavy smoker with strong dependency.
From smoking to vaping to nicotine gum was my approach. Managed to keep to the gum until travelling, doing the cycle again now. Maybe offer nic gum if cravings hit OP? Idk, everyone's different though
Yeah, I had a moment like that today when I asked him if he was doing okay and realised I was probably just reminding him.
This
I recommend your friend to read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
I sent him a copy! Thanks!
Never been a smoker so I can't comment on that aspect, but just wanted to say it's nice that you want to support your friend!
Maybe just make sure he's got plenty to do so he's not sitting around at home thinking about it, suggest hangout activities that aren't around other smokers, that sort of thing. All just casual and without making a big deal.
I'm forcing him to play baseball with me some day haha!
I gave it up a few weeks ago after years. I’m sure your friend can do it too!
I quit about three months ago. It's going to be difficult, and then even more difficult, but there will come a time where it'll only get easier but only if you stick with it. Good luck to your friend!
I'm sure lots of books will be recommended but, after smoking for 15 years and trying tons of times to quit, I finally quit after reading Allen Carrs Easy Way to Stop Smoking.
I read about Allen Carrs book on Reddit in the comments of a few posts. People kept saying how great it was and called it the 'quit smoking Bible'. It wasn't that expensive so I picked it up and it really did work for me 🤷♀️
Good luck to your friend
Thanks! I just sent him a copy!
Good for your friend! Only thing that you can really do is be there for him and encourage him - he's the boss of this but good luck to him.
Only thing that ever worked for me was vaping. Patches, gum and everything I'd use to wean off but I'd start smoking again very soon after. Going cold turkey never worked for longer than a week.
I think the first vape I had was 2012 and I've used one since. Genuinely changed my life. I don't really have plans to quit vaping.
Thank you!
It's been 5 years or so since my last cigarette, and I still desperately crave one when I've had a beer or five, especially when there are other people smoking nearby (like at a pub).
For these first few months, try to socialise in places where booze and other smokers aren't going to mix - like getting blasted at your house instead of your local. Ignoring the cravings does get easier, but for the first while being out of the way of temptation definitely makes things easier.
(Also replacing tobacco with weed is a bad idea, since you'll just end up smoking as much weed as you used to smoke tobacco in order to stave off the cravings then you'll be drooling on your sofa all day with a small packet of wotsits and a large box of shame and oh the humanity)
My friend recently took it up after a history of vaping :l
Same. My best mate has got with a lass who smokes (not a lot, like 5 rollies on a stressful day), and he started vaping, presumably from FOMO or whatever.
He's stopped vaping now, which is great! He's started smoking rollies now though, so that isn't so great.
I don't understand why they'd switch from vape to cigs. I think he felt that vaping was so stigmatised. I guess he's not the brightest.
Good choice, smokers are jokers