The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Trump, Vance say stranded astronauts must say thank you before being rescued (theshovel.com.au)

submitted 3 months ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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NASA astronauts Barry “Butch” Wilmore and Suni Williams have successfully returned to Earth, but have been told they will need to say ‘thank you’ to the new President and Vice President before they will be released from their capsule.

As Williams opened the door to the space capsule in waters off Florida, she was surprised to see JD Vance standing on a boat nearby. “Have you said thank you to me once in this entire mission?” he said to a visibly confused Williams.

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[–] subignition@fedia.io 22 points 3 months ago

Man, reality is getting so fucked I'm starting to eat the onion

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Kiss the ring...

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I just got a flashback to that scene of Kelsey Grammer (in the show Boss) making some young politician beg him on his fucking knees... These days I have a feeling this might not be so far from the truth, with some people.

[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

We are supposed to thank the astronauts for the risks to their lives and the service they give us not the other fucking way around.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

[–] AmbientDread@midwest.social 7 points 3 months ago

Plus they have to sign over half their possessions or the will be renditioned.

[–] Emil@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 months ago

Do they even own a suit?

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Is it satire, or is it real? Who knows!

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 months ago

"fuck you, i'd rather be a shark's lunch."

[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 2 points 3 months ago

There's now a followup: Astronauts beg to be sent back to space after learning what’s been happening on Earth for last 9 months