I took my usual covfefe shid today. It was wetter than usual, which makes no sense because I had a delicious healthy meal mostly from my partner's garden yesterday.
this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2023
32 points (97.1% liked)
chat
8436 readers
231 users here now
Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.
As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.
Thank you and happy chatting!
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
I've had hemorrhoids for weeks and weeks, internal and external. I bought some TCM "Mayinglong" butt paste on the recommendation of reddit, it's got some wild combo of calomine, vaseline, amber, artificial bezoar, artificial musk, and pearl. It seemed to help. I finally got serious about it and I've been eating big bowls of oatmeal for breakfast and lots of vegetables for dinner, along with fiber gummies in the morning. I'm taking 3-5 shits a day now. I'm farting around the clock, relentlessly. Every morning I have a huge fart the moment I wake up. This morning I dropped an unbroken 2 foot coil, thick and brown, that lazily circled the bowl until it broke the water level. I called my lover in to look at it and they agreed that it was an impressive movement.
The other day i was eating lunch at home, I hauled off and shat the hell out of my shorts thinking I was just gonna loose a raunchy fart. It was all water so I couldn't feel what was in store. I don't always shit my pants, but I'm definitely an occasional pants shitter. I love farting too much. I get in trouble.
I had hemorrhoids and my doctor told me to try citrus bioflavonoids. They seemed to work, but it could have been a coincidence. They were cheap enough that you might want to give it a shot.
This morning I dropped an unbroken 2 foot coil, thick and brown, that lazily circled the bowl until it broke the water level.
A perfect Amazonian Anaconda, classic, well done doodoo assbear!
Amber.
I always shower after my first poop of the day, I'm not some doodoo ass peasant
shit was cash, proud to be a member of the #poopedtoday gang 
π© 
I pooped last night before I went to bed, but it was after midnight so technically today, does that still count?
I actually popped again shortly after writing that comment so my bases are covered.
Yesterday I ate two pizzas, today I pooped two pizzas.
Low stink, texture of somewhat dry playdo'h, with a surprisingly high level of undigested spinach.
Drink some kefir and get them bacteria to digest that spinach comrade, it's good for you!
Can't drink kefir πΆcause I'm a filthy veganπΆ
I drink lots of kombucha though:)
I'm on an antibiotic round right now for strep, so I'm guessing that's the issue
Not yet 