this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I also found the cavity search required for adoption to be a little off-putting

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Gotta make sure you’re not smuggling puppies into their precious shelter.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I’d have to ask them to explain the question. “Ethically non-monogamous”? What the hell does that mean?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Having multiple partners but everyone involved knows and is okay with it. I've more often heard it as "ethical polyamory."

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago (1 children)

not to be confused with "ethical polearmory" which is when u fight people with polearms thst have little soft baggies at the ends, sono one gets hurt :3

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I assure you, a non-pointy stick can still hurt.

Unless you're talking about those giant foam q-tip things; Ive always wanted to try one of those!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah it's really hard to design any polearm more complex than a spear to be safe for sparring with. And even those spears are nowhere near as safe as swords like rapiers or sabres. Or even longswords.

I've sparred with large poles with bits of pool noodles stuck to the end to simulate spear tips. It's very fun and fairly safe (as long as you're extra careful with any butt strikes). But it doesn't feel anywhere near as realistic as the rapier sparring we do.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

I've sparred with Poles before, but Germans are more engaging.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Last time I checked, that's just called polyamory. The thing where they don't know is called cheating. We don't need a qualifier pushing a conservative narrative of what love is.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Poly means relationships, enm is just sex.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Isn't "open relationship/marriage" a term for that?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yes, and also polyamory.

People like their little labels and they like having the one that makes them feel the specialist.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Hey bro, I went to school for years to become the specialist.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't know I've ever heard someone say "ethical polyamory". Not sure if that's a regional thing, but for folks learning, I've usually heard just polyamorous or poly.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Omg, but what if they weren't ethical?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Polyamory and ENM are two different things. Polyamory is a part of ENM but ENM is not polyamory. It's rectangles and squares stuff.

You can be ENM without any polyamory.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Mind giving a little more detail about the difference?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Ethical non-monogamy is any form of non-monogamy that everyone involved is okay with and consents to.

Examples:

  • polyamory
  • Open relationship
  • Swinging
  • being/having a unicorn/bull

Etc etc...

Polyamory is just one aspect of a much larger category.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Much appreciated. Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

It means they just shot your dog

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I thought that the police did that in the US.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

It's redundant within the sex positive community. Polyamory presumes you're communicating with your partners to the degree they want information and respecting established boundaries.

This is not to say there aren't relationship troubles or missteps in a complex polyamorous relationship, but that these are aired and resolved.

Adultery issues are not about illicit sexual contact, but deception.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My rescue pooch is sadly approaching end of life, as best I can tell. So, I'll be going through this process again some day in the not to distant future.

I'm not in New York, but I will say that when I was last looking to adopt, there were aspects of it that were definitely off putting and demoralizing. Some of the rescues had ridiculous requirements that made me wonder if they were actually trying to place their dogs in a home. One of the most egregious that I semi-recall: It was a breed-specific rescue (ex: Norwich terrier), but most of the dogs they were trying to adopt out were mixes. They required you to have owned that breed of dog before. You had to be in a long term relationship (i.e. no single people). You had to agree to let them make a home inspection every 6 months. They had to be added to the list of approved contacts at the pet's vet. They could take the dog back at any time and for any reason. Etc.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

What. Why?

I get being careful but why to this extreme?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

For all the people that are equating polyamory and ENM in this thread: they are related but are not the same. Swinging, for example, is also ENM. Lots of things are. Here's a chart and pretty much the only thing here that's not ENM is cheating.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

I think I need a chart to explain the chart.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Weird how this chart perfectly overlaps with the poly one

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Not quite sure what you mean. There's a poly section in it, so it would have to do a weird fractal recursion to overlap itself...