this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2024
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Not the Onion

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cross-posted from: https://thelemmy.club/post/20309904

cross-posted from: https://thelemmy.club/post/20309903

“We knew we had something special, but we didn’t know that it was going to explode like that,” said American Rounds CEO Grant Magers.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago

“We knew we had something special, but we didn’t know that it was going to explode like that,” Magers said.

I don't want any ammo vending machines if they're going to explode /s

On a serious note, I'm surprised these weren't already available. Now we just need a gun vending machine and I can feel like I'm living in a Borderlands game.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Meanwhile, they'll end up banning pencils and pens in schools, because they could be used as shanks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

That's more probable in UK than USA

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (8 children)

Waiting to see when this will make the news that one is posted in a US school building.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Image of a “good guy with a gun” trying to stop an active shooter; asking everyone running past him if they have change for a dollar as with increasing urgency, he keeps trying to smooth out and feed a crinkled dollar bill into the machine that keeps spitting out.

Edit: the dystopia flows through me - how bout it becomes subscription based so if you’re on the lowest paid plan you have to watch a 60 second promo spot for season 62 of “Congress Candy Crush Smackdown” or transfer ownership of 10% of your genetic sequence to Disney-Boston Dynamics for their “Real Boy Initiative”, or agree to enable Server mode on your “Nestle Neural Chocolate Chip” to contribute 10% of your brain’s processing power to their distributed “Metabolism Enhancement Network” where subscribers can customise their own metabolic rate, preferred tastes and even allergies.

It becomes SNL adjacent when the shooter also needs to refill on ammo, but he’s not a member for this particular vendor - so his ammo dispense-rate is glacially slow and not without strings attached. He can wait it out and eat a “compliance wafer” per round dispensed, or he can speed it up after “correctly” answering questions about FAANG (after the big 5 companies merged post Project 2025 and effectively took control of the world population and their minds) - he can switch his neuro-wave thought chip to the machine’s provider on the spot, or provide the names and addresses of five dissenters who are unaligned with the values of the one true religion, Capitalism.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is this too dark for Saturday night live?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yes, but SNL would be better if it wasn't.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

If you went entirely the other way it could be a Black Mirror premise…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (5 children)

Hey US.. you are insane. You know how this looks to people who haven't been raised in your culture, right? right?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You know how insane this looks to someone who was born and raised in that culture?

Fucking nuts.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Who are you people? I'm not even a huge hunter or anything, but ammo for sale in a grocery store is pretty mundane in places where hunting is common. Have you ever left your suburb?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I lived in several countries and visited many more. Ammo for sale in a grocery store isn't considered normal in most countries...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Different countries have different things they consider normal and in particularly diverse countries like the US, different regions in the same country have different ideas of normal. For example you won't see live bait being sold in London or Paris grocery stores, but seeing that for sale in Louisianna outside of New Orleans (or even inside it) is extremely mundane and normal.

[–] Appoxo 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Maybe in a gunsmith shop but not where I buy my bell pepper and cucumber...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

People in rural areas still want bell peppers and cucumbers, and the "general store" which often acts as a hardware store/grocery store etc, will have those along with live bait, alcohol, and probably stuff you've never heard of, like tannerite. Ammo is just one of the multitudinous things you may find in such a location.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Forget January 6th so soon?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If you lived here, you'd want to be armed to.

SocialistRA.org

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

All of the idiots who think this is a good idea are trigger happy idiots

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

America will sell anything if someone wants to buy it, and they'll change the laws if it's a crime against humanity to make it not one.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Breaking news, ammo still legal to sell. Thanks for the cross posts!

[–] DoucheBagMcSwag 8 points 6 months ago

"remember, NO REFUNDS"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Finally! We only got 52 yearts left till 2077! A lot remains to be done, but this is a start!

Edit: The fuck, it is my cakeday? Didn't I just join a couple of weeks ago (after I was annoyed over at lemmy.world)?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Nah it says you joined a day ago! Maybe you just switched accounts.

In any case, happy cake day!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

This is some "Japan has used panty vending machines" kinda shit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Of course it does

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Kind of unrelated but wow The Post Millenial is like Fox news lite

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

Light?

Maybe it depends on which Fox News articles you read. They vary wildly from hard news to hard right punditry. I find most Post Millennial articles to be more biased on average, but a lot less sensational and editorial as well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Meanwhile Texas is trying to ban dildos in Walmart lmfao

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I prefer ammoseek to be honest.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Who wouldn't. I couldn't imagine the overhead costs this introduces.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Seriously. The startup costs must be astronomical.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Exploding ammo vending machines you say

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

I hate that these are always out of dum-dums.