this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So by historical analogy, they want to elect harris, have the chuds start a civil war about it, then have harris stop funding israel's genocide as an exigency of that civil war somehow?

[–] [email protected] 49 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Harris wins, Trump declares civil war, Israel recognizes Trump as president and sends troops, the US begins directing the MIC infinite weapons hose to Hamas and destroys Israel?

[–] [email protected] 56 points 10 months ago

Actually it's kind of an apt comparison. They just don't realize that Lincoln was never really anti-slavery and was only really forced into that position because the Republicans in the Northern states demanded it.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So they’re saying leftists should use the same tactics abolitionists used to pressure the state into ending slavery? Ah yeah it’s john-brown time!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

i seriously am struggling to understand what their position here is if it's not "domestic terrorism is good fine and necessary but you ALSO HAVE TO VOTE"

[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I would refrain from posting in the community built around a person outed as a child pornography enjoyer, but I guess some people are different

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Ironically they are quite puritans for anyone except vaush

[–] [email protected] 43 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Although he already had a draft emancipation proclamation prepared, Lincoln responded with his own open letter to Greeley, which he published in the National Intelligencer in Washington, D.C. Lincoln stated plainly that the goal of his administration's policies, including those related to slavery, was to save the Union. "My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone, I would also do that." Lincoln carefully noted that this represented his official position.

Source: https://www.loc.gov/collections/abraham-lincoln-papers/articles-and-essays/abraham-lincoln-and-emancipation/

He was never the liberator libs make him out to be. He only wanted to free the slaves because it was the only way to prevent the Confederacy from seceding.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

And he had no interest in integrating these newly freed people into US society. He had some weird fixation about shipping them all off to some island or something so he wouldn't have to deal with them, mentioning it several times even after being told it's a bad idea

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Yup. Black people freed themselves from white people.

Lincoln just saw the opportunity to get more soldiers to prevent the collapse of the settler project.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Isn't that how Liberia originated?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He only wanted to free the slaves because it was the only way to prevent the Confederacy from seceding.

Isn’t that what directly led to their secession though? Or do you mean it was the only way to rally the North to force the union back together?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

He needed soldiers to fight for the union to prevent the Confederacy from gaining a victory. In the link I posted, they said that Lincoln already had a draft of the emancipation proclamation ready before he published this letter.

His intention was never to free the slaves, but to preserve the union. One way to gain new soldiers was to declare the slaves of the Confederacy free.

The confederates wanted to keep slavery, the union freed the slaves. If you were a free slave in the Confederacy, who would you fight for? The side that just freed you, or the side that wants to keep enslaving you?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (2 children)

No exceptions. funny-clown-hammer

Also, every funny-clown-hammer links seems, by necessity, to look like this when I try to read it:

smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord very-intelligent smuglord

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is peak UlyssesT posting. The emoji to word ratio is wild here.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

I'd post that old woodcut image from centuries ago that was laden with the time's equivalent of emojis, but I lost it when I moved and eventually bought a new computer. Image searches haven't been helpful in finding it again. deeper-sadness

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Couldn't you just save the image from a previous comment you've made with it?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Sure, but I'd have to dig back pretty far to get it; doesn't it just show post topics if you go too far back, not comments?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

You found it too! Someone else did just before you did, but I still appreciate it! order-of-lenin

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

pithy retort

slightly changed wording

slightly more changed wording

reference to running joke with the most updoots

continuing for karma

the thread is so fucking over now but I want to be included

holy shit why are they still commenting

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

According to Final Fantasy XIV lore, when a group of people pray around a sufficient amount of aether crystals, they summon a Primal manifestation of their wishes, hopes, and dreams.

funny-clown-hammer is Reddit's Primal.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago

Libs are always like "don't worry about the current genocide or the current war, the best time to put pressure on politicians is after they've won the election and there are zero conditions to get our vote. She needs to be free now to make promises to anyone about anything other than whatever it is we care about."

[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago

thinking-about-it let them cook if Harris' election was going to cause a civil war i think we'd have to strongly consider it

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago

Well I'm convinced not to vote for Lincoln john-brown

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

you know what? i'm convinced. they got me.

this November - 2024 - i will be casting my vote

for abraham lincoln.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Writing in Avraham Linkhalm

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Abracadabra Lipbalm

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

If you haven't read it, "Black Reconstruction in America" by WEB DuBois is an excellent and eye opening book that shows you both how much of a POS Lincoln was really and how Reconstruction could've been far more revolutionary for POC (land redistribution, etc) if it weren't for people like him. (Though Andrew Johnson after him was much worse)

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

trying to make a clumsy analogy and accidentally venerating John Brown in the process (which is the correct position).

also as far as I know Karl Marx congratulated Lincoln on the 1864 election not the 1860 election. By 1864 Lincoln had become more practically anti-slavery compared to his initial platform in 1860. Lincoln repeatedly proclaimed his position was to contain slavery, not eradicate it, but the horrors of the civil war probably changed his mind once he saw the stakes at hand. His 1864 platform included a proposal to end slavery by constitutional amendment.

what is this even supposed to be saying? That a vote for Kamala Harris is actually voting for a ceasefire in Gaza? Harris is currently responsible for a genocide and her platform is to continue support for genocide. She isn't even proposing to limit, contain, or pressure Israel into stopping. She just had a meeting with Netanyahu and shook his hand like three weeks ago. A better analogy would be an alternate reality 1860 Lincoln as a southern democrat with a lifetime of lending aid to slave states, then ran for president in 1860 and said some wishy washy things about how he'll wag a finger at slave owners. But he's been personally selling whips, chains, and plantations to slave owners for decades. Then he invited the largest slave owners of every southern state to a big banquet and shook all their hands. And then I'm told by the 1860 version of Va*sh that Lincoln is actually an abolitionist, or that we can't worry about slavery right now because of other things going on.

i wish these liberals would just come out and say they do not care about Palestinians. Like you could at least say Lincoln was proposing to limit slavery's expansion, and he foolishly believed this would end slavery. Harris and Biden have no proposals whatsoever about Palestine other than give Israel more weaponry and aid. They're not even pretending, they're fiercely pro-Israel in a way that can't be compared to Lincoln's tepid, flawed incrementalism.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Yeah the Republicans were definitively the antislavery party but they knew they couldn't legally end it under American federalism. At best they could limit and constrain the spread of slavery and chip away at it at the Federal level, which they knew when running. They were sort of feckless liberals unwilling to break or move outside of the system. Once Sherman had his march to the sea to show the norths resolve and the south was fully militarily occupied then slavery could be abolished fully in the union with the 13th ammendment.

Anyway, the analogy holds no water unless you're politically illiterate.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

this is a shit analogy, voting for lincoln didnt stop a civil war and millions of people from dying, so

their whole messaging is voting harris to stop fascism

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

sigh

back in my day the funny clown hammer had a little more spice to it

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Just for you, you filthy animal

"Haha Tacoma is weepin-"
funny-clown-hammer BONKfunny-clown-hammer
You have been bopped with a big funny clown hammer. You are going to the posting gulag for your crimes.

"Lol he said the n-word in a stream and-"
funny-clown-hammer BONK funny-clown-hammer
You have been bopped with a big funny clown hammer. You are going to the posting gulag for your crimes.

"lmao remember when he defended pedophilia by saying it wasn't any more exploitative than making laptops-"
funny-clown-hammer BONK funny-clown-hammer
You have been bopped with a big funny clown hammer. You are going to the posting gulag for your crimes.

Making a post demanding others stop Vaushposting, and then realizing that you yourself have now Vaushposted
funny-clown-hammer BONK funny-clown-hammer
You have been bopped with a big funny clown hammer. You are going to the posting gulag for your crimes.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

That third bonk is... something.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You're looking at some hexbear deep lore right there, blame fanonfan for invoking the deep magicks

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

With just a pinch of sandy cheeks cock vore, just like gramma used to make it

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

Literally the dumbest people on reddit-logo

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

vaush fans and being historically illiterate? who woulda guessed?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

More like "if you vote for Stephen A. Douglas, Andrew Jackson or John Calhoun, you're supporting slavery"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

A Reddit link was detected in your post. Here are links to the same location on alternative frontends that protect your privacy.