What the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I have a test today I definitely did not study for at all

its a miracle if I pass this class

Shoutouts to yall for all being extremely good at posting

go to trans subreddit

unironic nato worship

I hate colds. They're the worst. Woke up feeling like crap. About 2 days of symptoms behind my wife, so I know this won't be a quick one.

Also, I'm 4 weeks away from my bottom surgery. You can tell I'm excited because my dreams are just constantly filled with dreams of that day. These next 4 weeks are going to draaaaag.

I got called "Daughter" by a random woman in the market today

I got in a fight with my dad and it fucking sucks. He sent me a link to an article written by a trans woman who repeated all of the gender critical talking points, just pure reactionary garbage. The writer is a fucking comprador letting people point to her and say "well this trans person says not to get surgery!" If I bring surgery up at all they always tell me to look at sources about regretting it. Its so fucking painful for me to try to get them to stop repeating reactionary talking points and actually listen to me and respect my decision. I just... it's so hard to keep doing this. I love them and all but theyve said really horrible stuff to me. Theyve toned it down a bit but they just dont understand how much their approval matters to me. I can tell they think i can be "cured" somehow, that I just need to figure out "why" i'm trans and just need to "love myself". It sucks so fucking much. I hate this.

*sigh* Guy I became friends with is well on his way on the fascist pipeline. Had a discussion with him tonight and he's very insistent on "glassing" the US's enemies among other things. When presented with evidence to the contrary on his talking points, he wished to change topics. Considering he knows he's talking to a transgirl, I can only imagine that he's on the pipeline rather than at the final stop. Not sure if I want to bother continuing to agitate or just drop it altogether. :\

I split up with my boyfriend today. It hasn't hit me yet, but I'm probably going to be really sad later.

That voice group meeting was useful, also got a book suggestion from a coworker who moonlights as a voice actor, though it took him some convincing since he thinks sounding feminine in retail makes customers less mad or some silly shit. Naw, they were mad long before they got to the line.

Otherwise not doing so well, this sinus infection is kicking my ass and draining me, I know its related to that never ending dental abscess, it just took until this month to finally get scheduled to be seen by a somewhat affordable dentist, though still ouch. I hope when I finally get seen that's the resolution of it, it doesn't come back to pester.

new unjust depths chapter!

I recently made a friend that I’m getting to know. He’s a very nice guy, but is very clear that his life is being steered solely by toxic masculinity. I genuinely feel bad for him because it seems it’s making his life feel empty regardless of the sheer success he’s enjoyed in life so far. Fortunately it doesn’t seem like he has been scooped up by the likes of Shapiro and the like, so maybe I can help steer him somewhat.

It also made me realize that a lot of my time spent before my egg cracked was influenced by the toxic masculinity that I grew up with. I didn’t realize how much of it adversely affected me all this time and how much I still unconsciously espouse into daily thought. Fortunately most of it is shed now aside from a few things. Hopefully the rest will leave soon.