this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
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Political Memes

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 2 years ago (4 children)

How many dudes does she have to jerk off in a movie theater to keep her job?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 years ago

Too many in this economy. Thanks Biden. /s

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Maybe we should find out... for science

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But how long would that take?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

do you know how long it takes to jack off everyone in that room? Because I do

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Depends: is she doing it middle out, adjusting angles to compensate for height difference? goes to whiteboard

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Shit I always forget this one. On question 6, whats the equation for mean jerk time?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I just wrote "your mom" on that one, hoping the examiner had a sense of humor 🤷

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Less than you’d think. Most would vote for her if she agreed NEVER to come near them again

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

dang I guess I just assumed she must've already been from the most shithead district available, crazy to think there's (edit: possibly) an even worse place than the one she got elected from to start with

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

We don't know that it is. This smacks of desperation.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Her current district was +9 Republican. The one she's moving to is +27 Republican. What a coward.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

For her current neighbors' sake, I hope they have a residency requirement.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

That’s not a thing for Congress.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

See if it shifts now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

It is. Her current district is +9 gop, and she only won it by 500 votes last time. Her dem challenger raised millions for the upcoming election already, while she had record bad fund raising.

This one district shes shifting to is +27 GOP, so she will likely win if she isn't primaried.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Colorado went through a round of redistricting, so her old seat lost a bunch of the baked-in far-right evangelical base that she'd enjoyed up till now. She only held her CO-3 seat by 1% of the vote, so she's DOA going into 2024 with the new district lines and population changes.

By contrast, CO-4 is a comically lopsided 63/30 Republican district. She can camp out there indefinitely if she wins her primary.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why is the far-right evangelical base supporting a woman who performs sex acts in public?

I guess that's less of a threat to their children than someone using a closed toilet stall in the same room as someone born with different genitals.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Why is the far-right evangelical base supporting a woman who performs sex acts in public?

In the state that gave us Ted Haggard, Paul Barnes, and Gary Hart?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Was the district a dick? Was it in a crowded room? She has certain standards before she rubs the right way.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Kinda makes you wonder what goes on in her town hall meetings…it’s crowded... Lots of dicks to rub….

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

I just assumed they threw hotdogs down the town hall.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Having an open seat nearby was quite the stroke of luck.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Right? That's weird, I didn't even know you could do that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

If by “nearby” you mean several hundred miles, but still in the same state.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Just leave politics and make a couple porno flicks before you get too old!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Conservatives were horny for Sarah Palin during the '00s, despite being on her fourth kid and pushing 60.

I have zero doubt that, with a bit of face and ass-tuning and a sufficiently 2nd Amendment themed spread, you can get folks to jerk/jill off to Lauren Boebert for decades to... uh... come.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm not even a conservative and I wouldn't mind that.

She's dumb af and a massive hypocrite but hey she's hot ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Name checks out

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Agreed. I wouldn't pay for it but I'd pirate it. 🤷

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Come on she is a modern woman. Why can she do both?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

Maybe she can grab the theater district

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

She should try beaching off her constituents instead.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago

I will totally beach you off.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Gotta hand it to her, she sure knows how to get a rise out of her audience.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Isn't McCarthy doing this too?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

oh like a clit