this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Centrist take: If you can't get a decent sear on a gas stove you need to learn how to cook.

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[–] [email protected] 155 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I get this is satire, but how the fuck do you even cook a steak that bad. Is it boiled?

[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 years ago (6 children)

Look up milk steak, it's a delicacy and it looks a bit like that.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

Raw.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is it better than rum ham?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The Frankish Emperor Charlemagne, later in life, suffered from health problems from eating too much meat. His physicians told him that he should switch from roasted to boiled meat, which he chafed at. Having never boiled meat because I don't eat much meat, I assumed it was royalty having Royalty Problems™.

Looking at that, if it's a result of boiling, I'm starting to think instead that was cruel and unusual punishment by his doctors.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

As someone who eats steak on rare occasion, if I was told I had to boil my steak from now on I would not be eating steak anymore. Boiled steak with no seat on the outside sounds awful.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

I, too, like my steaks with seats outside. I can sit the whole family there!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

It'd basically be stew meat minus the flavor from browning the meat before hand.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Some people don't actually know how to cook and think "I got it to X temperature" means they did it right.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Ben Shapiro likes his steak like he likes his wife's pussy: completely fucking dry

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Which his wife, WHO IS A DOCTOR BY THE WAY, assured him was perfectly normal.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 2 years ago (6 children)

That's not well done, that's congratulations.

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I'm only mad about what he did to that steak

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 years ago

Honestly same, choke on gas fumes all day, it's your life! But a cow died for that steak, honor it for fuck's sake.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 years ago (2 children)

As a vegetarian, even I’m mad about how he cooked that steak.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Vegetarians and vegans should be twice as upset, because that cow was murdered twice.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I guess anyone dumb enough to think liberals would be angry about him cooking a steak is probably too dumb to learn how to cook one properly.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 years ago (1 children)

MFer figured out how to turn beef into pork

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I'm just upset they a cow had to die to make a steak that bad. They could have used a cardboard box and saved a cow.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

So this 'alpha' thought he could own some libs by steaming a steak?

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 years ago

An animal died for that. At least do a good job cooking the damn thing lol

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 years ago

*Ruined a steak

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 years ago

I'm wondering if that's a butter knife, or the steak was so hard it wore the knife down

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Did he boil the damn thing?!

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Somehow managed to make it look like a slice of pie.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

My mind went to scrap wood. Shit looks like a hunk of raw pine.

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[–] DoucheBagMcSwag 33 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

If this is not satire, i hope that potential Chud ate that entire fucking thing

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

Damn. Well, enjoy your disconcertingly pale steak. Try not to get mad cow disease.

Honestly, why do these assholes regard acts of self-endangerment as "owning the libs?" "I'm gonna run outside without a mask, get COVID, and die a miserable death! That'll show those commies a thing or three!" Yes, I'm very "triggered" by your easily preventable deaths. Please don't kill yourself with your own stupidity. I couldn't go on without your fourth grade insults and desperate, performative machismo. Stop. Please. Oh no.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

There is a nonzero chance that we're looking at a piece of wood

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

New tv show idea: Is It Steak?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (7 children)

In a gas stovetop I make a beautiful pan-seared, oven cooked steak. And I’m liberal.

This steak has nothing to do with what it was prepared on, just the moron who ruined good food.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 years ago

Like I do not know how to cook

But I can assure you I would not be able to fuck up a meal like this if I tried

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Someone should publish a study that self castration is harmful and should maybe be phased out.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago (8 children)

Bro

As someone who eats steaks Blue Rare

What the fuck is this?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago

I think my cat eats better meat than that.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago (11 children)

The only people who think gas stoves are superior are the ones who never tried an induction stove

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Gas is better than shitty electric, but induction is better than both shitty electric and good gas.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)

That looks like an overcooked pork chop.
And it looks disgusting.
I pity the fool that has to eat that.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It looks both over cooked but under-seared.

I have a feeling they boiled it rather cooked it in a pan.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

When you don't realize the meat thermometer is set to Celsius

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Yeah, they’re fuming, they’re fuming about how the fuckwit ruined whatever that shit on the plate could’ve been.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

Nah it's the benzene and carbon monoxide that are fuming.

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