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this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Oh yeah you're that dude who was commenting on my meme about kids being annoying in a restaurant. I didn't feel the need to comment there because I had thought "person doesn't realize that few people have problems with well behaved kids or understand that people know that kids OCCASIONALLY act out.". But it looks like you're doubling down.
First, did you see anyone complaining about kids on playgrounds? Play places at fast food restaurants? Public parks? No? That's because those are places for kids to be running around. Restaurants where adults are trying to relax is not for kids to be running around. Full stop. There is no "but". YOU need to teach your child that their actions affect those around them.
Secondly, YOU choose to have children and where you take them. If you take them to a place where you know they have the potential to inconvenience the people around them and they do, then you are inflicting them on others and that makes you a bad parent.
And lastly, I can't even remember the amount of children who stayed at their table, where maybe a little louder than would be necessary but ultimately settled down, or were well behaved and well mannered. But I do remember that the parents of those children were usually well put together and maintained people who seemed to have control over their life. An unruly child who was running around the restaurant is usually a symptom and not the problem.
I didn't see the meme, but--
Maybe I'm missing something, but I kinda feel like that ignores the reality of how kids learn. They can't be taught how to act at restaurants if they're left at home for their entire childhood. We've got fairly well-behaved children, but it's because they were a little bit crazy when they were younger and we disciplined them through the process. Particularly for neuro-spicy kids, they're never going to be able to learn how to calm down unless you take them to those places, teach them how to act, and discipline them when they transgress those boundaries.
Yeah, it's an inconvenience to others, but them being a minor inconvenience now so that they won't be a major inconvenience when they're adults is kind of the tradeoff you make in order to live in a reasonably well-adjusted society.
Now, if you're talking about, like, a Michelin-starred restaurant with pristine tablecloths and no dollar signs on the menu, that's one thing. People save up for months to have a single pleasant, quiet night at places like that, and parents need to find better ways/locations to train their kids. But if you mean Applebees or whatever, I kind of think the minor inconvenience now is worth the better-behaved adult the kids will turn into.
I think the annoying kids in restaurants stereotype we’re talking about are usually when the parents of the kids are ignoring the behavior rather than trying to teach their kids anything.
Your ideal scenario here is fine but 99% of the time when I’m super irritated at kids its because the parents are ignoring and/or downplaying the affect their kids have on other people.
Gotcha. Yeah, parents can definitely suck just as much as any other human (or, to be fair, they can just be exhausted or distracted). Though I will also note that in the cases where my kids have acted unexpectedly badly, it is notable to me that my usual nuclear threat ("we'll just leave") carries with it a financial penalty as well (now we have to pay for food we ordered but can't eat), which adds an additional wrinkle to this problem; particularly for lower-income folks.
I do think that I usually have a lower tolerance for my kids' behavior than most of the people around me do, so hopefully that's part of what is on my side here.