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How to get past this (lemmy.ml)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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My father insists on a version of past events that is not true, where he supposedly helped me pay off debt when in reality I paid it off by working FOR YEARS. He doesn't say it as something he's proud of, but something I owe him and haven't "thanked" him for (?). He is extremely stubborn and old enough to definitely not remember things well.
He does this kind of thing with my siblings as well and it's come to the point where we feel that all we really were for our father was a money burden, be it true or not that he helped us financially at some point. How can I come to terms with the fact that he's not gonna acknowledge the truth no matter how many times I explain it to him, despite the anger and frustration I feel towards him for claiming something he actually DIDN'T do for his kid while minimizing my own work and effort?

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (16 children)

Does this actually affect your life? Just ignore him when he brings it up. Convincing him will likely not materially affect your life.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (15 children)

Well today he said he doesn't want to be in touch with us anymore because we're so ungrateful, so I guess that he's just made it very easy to ignore him but it fckn eats at me, it's my dad, you know?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)

My father once took credit for an idea about how to do something when in the previous conversation he’d argued against my suggestion. He really believed it was his idea. I hung and called my mother exasperated because I knew she’d understand after being married to him for how ever many years (divorce). She was just like, yeah, what can you do. It sucks.

So, what can you do. It sucks.

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