Transfem

It finally happened. I lost so much weight that my tungsten-carbide wedding band doesn't fit anymore. It's definitely a 'masculine' design and felt like a good idea at the time. But since that material can't be resized and all the add-on sizing options are still too big, I'm at a loss for what to do. My spouse and I are still absolutely happily married and intend to remain that way. If anything, I think we've grown closer since I came out! I don't want to simply discard something that means so much to us both. I was hoping to hold out on buying a new one until my transition got to a point to renew our vows with my new name (and in a gorgeous dress!) but I'm curious if anyone else has been through this before? I was considering a necklace to hold onto it until then. I was about to type that I didn't want others to get the wrong impression about us (me with no ring, my spouse with the engagement ring and the band) out together but then I realized we're likely going to get awkward looks for a while anyway.

So, what do others think? What have you done if you've reached this point? Am I overthinking this?

Hi ! I don't often make posts but I thought about making one here because I feel like sharing what's on my chest.

I'm 27, I started HRT almost 4 months ago, and there is no denying that this was the best decision I took. Sadly, because of that, my life has become so chaotic.

Around 6y ago I met a girl I thought I would spend a lifetime with. I moved in Switzerland (originally from Belgium) after long distance relationship. With her I felt invincible. We broke up a few months ago, shortly after I realised I was trans.

The breakup, the dysphoria, having to look for a roommate, and I'm far from family ... That broke me.

Today I'm doing better. I'm still healing from the breakup, I get panic attacks from dysphoria but I can handle it, and I have a sweet roommate.

I'm currently looking for a new job where I can present at my true self and would like to find love again. Those are my current goals.

Afterall, my life is not bad at all. I have many friends who support me. My lovely family is a bit far away but we chat very often over the phone. And yet I feel exhausted, lonely, unmotivated. I want to find stability again, this feeling of being invincible.

As the title says, today I managed to call my friend and basically have my coming out. As expected he was basically like "nice. Got a new name or something I have to be careful about?" (I currently havent decided on anything yet) The talk felt good and it devinetively helped a little bit with the hate for myself and I no longer feel absolutely terrible all the time. I still feel kinda terrible due to the feeling of having a hole ripped in my chest, but it devinetively got better after that.

Navigating through a grocery store
Every step careful and monitored
Unmade eye contact prevents dirty looks back
Or at least, the acknowledgement of

The public sentiment is against us
Or maybe the public sentiment is for us
No one really knows but all we know is
The humans out there can't really be trusted

They look at us with pity and with despair
Like we're blasphemy, like we're abomination
Like we should have never awakened ourselves
And they don't talk to us, not willingly

The law is against us, binding and forceful
For our existence undermines their basic truth
About self-conception and what it means to be
And we are the targets of incredible anger

And so I keep my eyes forward and I move
With intention and swiftness, undistractable
Until I am distracted, not by another, no
But by one like me.

She carries telltale signs that she is of me
A look in the eyes, a scar on the arms,
A turn of the chin, a deepseated trauma
And she starts a quick wordless transmission

One quick turn of the head, either up or down
A learned nod from the past that's still useful
Gigabytes of history, of passion, of care
Of despair, of hope, of fear and of trust

Transmitted from one to another, one motion
The others who are not us could not do this
A wordless transmit back, a downward shake
And she has my history and my trust and my care

And with such a quiet symbol that we stole
We took this from them and we misused it
We robbed the others of its intention and
We made it our own, yet some of us say no

The others may see the symbol, this nod
They know we stole it and by using it
The others clearly know that we are not them
But we don't need to be them, We are Us.

Last time I posted I was in the process of figuring out a new place to live. Just wanted to check in and say I made the move and I'm okay. It was hard, and maybe not exactly as far as I wanted but it's better than the deep south. I'm making friends and have decent work. Hopefully life will be kind. Community is helping me a lot. Posting a photo I took this morning while slacking off and feeling cute. HRT for 1.5 years now.

Throwaway Account, here we go. So i think the egg finally cracked enough for me to accept, that Im trans. The thought has crossed my mind quite regularly in the past few weeks. Everything started with when I took LSD about 5 weeks ago and I was able to catch a thought that crossed my mind regarding my appreciation for female clothing (skirts etc.). It was "Acts trans, looks trans[I bought myself a skirt a few days prior to this], probably is trans". My stupid ass of course was like "Nahhhh, I dont like such thoughts i may think about this once my brain isnt fried anymore" (guess what didnt happen). Since then there was this little nagging voice in my head always asking me "Are you sure you arent trans", but I always just kept it silent saying "I will figure it out with the time", without really thinking about if the voice maybe didnt have a point. I have been back at my parents house for about 4 weeks(since the semester is now over) now and in that time i catched myself think quite regularly how much I miss wearing my skirt and such stuff. Today the egg finally cracked. The voice that I may be trans has been getting extra loud the past few days, which led to me going on YouTube today searching for how/when people realised they are trans and watching some more videos of a mtf creator. This led to an unholy quest of doomscrolling r/egg_irl and @egg_[email protected] and hating how much i could relate to a lot of this content. I could really feel how the barriers to acceptance fell while seeing this content. And now, im sitting here, writing this post and absolutely hating myself because I absolutely do not like this realisation and thinking about how this will change my life remembering a lot of stuff dating back years of my life and thinking to myself "You stupid idiot really thought these kind of thoughts were normal?". Additionally to the hate about why I cant just be normal like everyone else I now additionally have these very intense cravings to start transitioning. It makes life quite shit, knowing what you want, but currently nut being able to come anywhere close to it. Luckily Im currently in a position where i am quite sure, that when/if i finally come out i wont face that much (or probably little to zero) backlash over this. My family will probably not be super supportive (its not in their "nature"), but they will probably accept it. My close friend group wont have any problems at all and only roasting me with some phrases like "Remeber when I said you will turn into a femboy 2 years ago and you idiot denied that? Look what happened to you.". Only problem may be some of my friends from my hometown who are more conservative, but I guess/hope that they will be fine, since they arent really right or so, just uninformed about a lot of topics. My biggest fear would probably be my music orchestra, because there are quite a lot of older people and in my village about 50% voted for our "conservative" party (They are far right, especially in term of immigration, but dont have the balls to admit it), but to be fair a lot of these 50% are probably people who dont even know other parties exist, since theyve been voting for them the whole time. This would probably one of the hardest losses, if i had to cut ties with them, since i really like playing there and having to deal with a lot of people who dont accept me the way I am wouldnt be worth it.

Thanks for reading my vent, because I really had to get this off my chest, but currently dont have the balls to talk about this with a friend and I want to wait at least a few weeks before doing so to be sure.

Edit: Thanks everyone for the kind words. I devinetively needed this.

new contrapoints just dropped

Hey everybody, sorry, I couldn't think of a more fitting title. I feel the need to share my mental progress. After a long time of thinking "maybe I am - just eventually - transgender", I decided to go down the rabbit hole a few days ago. It was a very suppressed thought and it took me quite some strength to overcome it. I peeked in the mtf community and discovered the gender dysphoria Bible. And I ingested it. Every bit felt like it's describing me directly. And that's filling me with very mixed feelings. Obviously one is fear. I am 30 years old. Am married and have three kids. I'm worried about my own future, as well as the future of my closest. But there is also a feeling of euphoria in the background. Some weird feeling that's telling me it's right and everything is going to be good. That feeling is guiding me in unknown directions. When I was buying groceries today, I felt a surprising confidence in my thoughts. But that also got me to a situation I did not expect. When I first saw my own reflection, I didn't see myself. Previously, my only thoughts about my reflection were not that bad, I was mainly dissatisfied by my looks. This was different. And that brought me to the decision to for now change my online representation. For now, just in this small area of my life, I am a woman. And that feels pretty right.

So I'm basically doing an autism deep-dive into endocrinology at the moment and I came across this study, which suggests that

There have been good results in recent research to inhibit the generator of pulsatile secretion of GnRH necessary for ovulation by using melatonin in a new type of oral contraceptive.

As far as I understand from this article, GnRH basically stimulates biological hormone production (testosterone & LH in biological men; progesterone and estrogen in biological women).

If melatonin reduces GnRH production to such a level that it may even be used as a contraceptive, I cannot help but wonder, if any of you remember any supplementary (gender affirming) effects if you have taken melatonin before or during replacement hormone therapy?

It would be way better to not have society be going through a moral panic about trans people at the same time I’m coming to terms with my trans-ness. I feel like I’d have to struggle with self-acceptance a lot less if I didn’t know that a large percentage of society hates me without knowing a thing about me. I don’t want to have to change out of my girl clothes or take off my makeup because I need to take my dog for a walk around the apartment complex, and I don’t know how my neighbors would treat a visibly trans person. I don’t want to have to worry about when the incongruity between my appearance and my passport is going to become a problem. (Setting aside that now for all my gender markers across documents to match, I can’t change any of them, and they’ll have to stay wrong). I don’t want to have to worry about losing friends or family or my job because I come out to them. I just want to live life being fully myself - what’s so wrong with that?

My mom forced me to come out to her, but she was accepting and encouraged me to come out to my dad and I was very very surprised be he was also accepting.

I'm really happy at that outcome, I'm so excited, I get to wear the clothes I want now, I don't have to hide it anymore, I get to tell them what I'm feeling, what's actually going on, where I'm actually going, who my friends really are, and I get to actually be me around them.

I just wanted to share that celebration with y'all

Seeing those thin women that sooo have that hourglass shape.

OR even just those women with noticeable hips! Ugh! I feel so jealous! I wish I could do HRT, but with everything going on, I feel like it's safer to put it off, especially since my disphoria isn't too severe at.

Just a vent, I guess.

Hi ladies! Today CheeseToastie created a new community for women's interests (makeup, skincare, health, nail polish, etc). I've agreed to share it around so if you're interested, come join us at [email protected]

(Mods, if this type of post isn't allowed, my apologies!)

I just recently had some awful DM harassment from a transphobic idiot who told me that I was pretending to be trans. It was dealt with but I'm still left wondering. Why do some people believe that we would pretend to be trans? What do they think someone would gain by "pretending" to be trans. It just seems so stupid because I've dealt with so much oppression and people invalidating me my whole life, and yet they still think I'm pretending to be trans for some some reason...? Why? What the fuck does someone gain from pretending to be trans? This makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

Sorry for this rant, I really needed to get this off my chest.

Just went through some work stress, gender dysphoria crisis (transitioning is soo scary with a right-wing family x.x) and autism struggles today... currently listening to this smooth jazz song and having a beer to calm down

On a positive note: I installed Fedora on my little Optiplex today and I'm currently backing up my photo memories from the past twelve years from iCloud to leave yet another tech conglomerate :)

How has your day been?

I'm 30, transfem, and to be quite honest, I feel my will to live slowly slipping away. I'm trying to find the willpower to finish my PhD thesis and to get into a better living situation after that, but I find myself frozen and wanting to curl up into a tiny ball of nothingness instead. And there are LOTS of reasons for that, mostly centered around trauma, guilt, and shame.

I don't think I can fit everything I need to say in a succinct post, so if it isn't against the rules, would any of you fellow girlies be willing to shoot me a DM and give some advice? I don't think I can really explain without having a back-and-forth conversation... thanks in advance. 🏳️‍⚧️💜

Hey girls and friends!

I am kinda timid even if I really like social contact, and for most of my life I have mostly had guy friends. I guess it's because it's easier to approach and be approched by guys when you whole body says that you are a guy... Also I was a student in computer science so there are mostly guys. Essentially my close-friends group is mostly trans girls and non-binary AFAB and guys. It's been a bit of an anxiety of mine that cis women wouldn't see me as a woman, but as a kinda creepy guy....

This week I contacted an old girl-friend of mine from Highschool and suggested that we had a drink since we hadn't seen each other in years. I also came out by message. The discussion at the bar was great and it was basically the first time that a cis woman welcomed me into womanhood. She discussed about how being a woman was awesome and that I will love it. This is so great. I have essentially never had a AFAB person tell me how womanhood is great, only about how bad it is.

Yesterday I attended another social event and the few girls there also treated me as one of their own. So yay, I place this week under the umbrella of "Being accepted by cis girls" and I love it! Much acceptance and validation <3

How's it for you? How was your week?

Feel free to suggest in the comments :) Just looking for something relatable to listen to while commuting or doing household chores xx

I was surprised by how much I've changed in the last month. And in this photo I look so different compared to when I look in the mirror.

Right now I'm at 11 months HRT and had 12 laser hair removal sessions. I'm 32 years old and you can check out my profile for any previous progress pics.

Bank person: Can I see some ID please?
Me: (Hands over driver's license with old photo)
Bank person: (Checks)
Bank person: Err.
Bank person: (Checks some more)
Bank person: Is this your husband?

I'm going to be grinning about this all week :3

Hello fellow everyone my name is CyaraKaira transgender woman originally from Uganda… I fled my home country due persecution that resulted from the Anti-homosexual bill. I fled to Kenya where I was put in a refugee camp. Here I faced a lot of persecution more than what I faced from my home country. I beaten several times, stripped naked, cut with machetes andremovedd on several occasions. My life was really hell that I had to flee to South Sudan a war country and mostly with hostile people. You may ask I chose this country it’s because I had no choice honestly but it was the nearest to where I was. I’m currently facing lots of challenges including lack of food and medication. I have been sick for week now but have no help. I will be glad for your support to access medication any donations will mean a lot. I’m also will to share my story because I have a lot to share. Thank you

https://gofund.me/bd40a4f9

Sorry, this is pretty much just me venting, but it is related to me being trans.

Anyways, I got my first pair of women's glasses yesterday. I was very excited and euphoric, but I somehow managed to scratch them today while I was fiddling with the nose pads. Fortunately the eyeglass place has a warranty for lens scratches, but I unfortunately had to use it less than 24 hours after getting my glasses. They said they have never seen an adult scratch their glasses that fast...

I also have a hearing soon to get my legal sex changed however I also have jury duty. I had called the court a while back to see if I could reschedule and they basically said that it's my problem, not theirs, and now that it is getting close to time, I am freaking out because idk what I'm going to do if they call me in when I have my hearing.

On top of that, I also have midterms this week so I'm stressed out from that as well. I just drank the last of my alcohol, but unfortunately maladaptive coping mechanisms aren't actually that effective (Who would have thought).